Kratos regrets asking, a little, if only for how nervous Lloyd is. He also regrets forgetting to clarify that he did not need a reason why, just what to avoid, but it's too late now, isn't it? He hopes he just has not made it worse by making Lloyd feel like he needed to recount his trauma. Lloyd's answer is clearly dodgey, like perhaps he doesn't want to think about it, but-- Honestly. Why would he?
But then Lloyd says he's just gotta learn to deal with it with a tone like haha silly me for getting freaked out and Kratos recoils, shaking his head a little in surprise. Sorry, what? What? That's-- no. No. Kratos knows he has compromised where he shouldn't have, before, (but sometimes Mithos needs the touch to ground him, and Kratos knows he is safe with Mithos even if his body likes to act like he isn't), but compromising occasionally is different than "learning to deal with it" in general. You don't just. You can't just. You can't just make physical responses to triggers stop. You cannot simply will them away. You can learn to cope with the spiral, after, yes, but.
If you don't like being touched certain ways you don't like being touched certain ways, end of story.
It occurs to Kratos maybe he should say some of this aloud.
But Lloyd looks like he wants to be done with this conversation, wants to be thinking about something else-- No. No. This is important. Kratos runs over his thoughts again, trying to figure out how to articulate them. When he doesn't know Lloyd very well. When he's getting the vibe that Lloyd doesn't want to talk to him.
(Anna would probably be better at this. She, at least, has no fears.)
Still. It's important.
"Lloyd..." he says, gently, slowly, heart lodged somewhere in his throat. Stupid thing. "If... If you don't like being grabbed... especially if it triggers something bad in you... That's nothing to be ashamed of." He hesitates, still chewing on his words. "You don't have to- You don't need to be..." He fumbles, scowling as the words elude him. He's silent for another moment or two, as he tries to navigate to the end of what he wants to say, figure out how to get there, and then put all that into words. He digs into his memories, trying to recall how Anna might say it.
Finally: "If you don't like being grabbed, you don't like being grabbed, end of discussion," Kratos says. "And if you don't like being grabbed, telling people that you don't like it so that they won't do it is the right course of action. And... in the event that someone grabs you anyway, you are not responsible when it makes you feel like shit. They are, for crossing a boundary they should not have."
boundaries are just important to him okay
But then Lloyd says he's just gotta learn to deal with it with a tone like haha silly me for getting freaked out and Kratos recoils, shaking his head a little in surprise. Sorry, what? What? That's-- no. No. Kratos knows he has compromised where he shouldn't have, before, (but sometimes Mithos needs the touch to ground him, and Kratos knows he is safe with Mithos even if his body likes to act like he isn't), but compromising occasionally is different than "learning to deal with it" in general. You don't just. You can't just. You can't just make physical responses to triggers stop. You cannot simply will them away. You can learn to cope with the spiral, after, yes, but.
If you don't like being touched certain ways you don't like being touched certain ways, end of story.
It occurs to Kratos maybe he should say some of this aloud.
But Lloyd looks like he wants to be done with this conversation, wants to be thinking about something else-- No. No. This is important. Kratos runs over his thoughts again, trying to figure out how to articulate them. When he doesn't know Lloyd very well. When he's getting the vibe that Lloyd doesn't want to talk to him.
(Anna would probably be better at this. She, at least, has no fears.)
Still. It's important.
"Lloyd..." he says, gently, slowly, heart lodged somewhere in his throat. Stupid thing. "If... If you don't like being grabbed... especially if it triggers something bad in you... That's nothing to be ashamed of." He hesitates, still chewing on his words. "You don't have to- You don't need to be..." He fumbles, scowling as the words elude him. He's silent for another moment or two, as he tries to navigate to the end of what he wants to say, figure out how to get there, and then put all that into words. He digs into his memories, trying to recall how Anna might say it.
Finally: "If you don't like being grabbed, you don't like being grabbed, end of discussion," Kratos says. "And if you don't like being grabbed, telling people that you don't like it so that they won't do it is the right course of action. And... in the event that someone grabs you anyway, you are not responsible when it makes you feel like shit. They are, for crossing a boundary they should not have."