It takes Lloyd several seconds to notice Mithos' presence, to notice how he shapes the world around them, and the only reason why Lloyd does notice is because of how Zelos' body is taken away with the scenery of the Tower of Salvation, ruby hair disappearing with crimson blood and the feeling of Zelos' warmth leaving his body. Lloyd blinks, tears still streaming down his face, trying to connect his heart and mind with the rest of his body, and finally hears Mithos as he crouches down and sits.
He should answer the Aegis, he knows, reassure him that he's not mad, that frankly, he appreciates his interference in the first place, but the problem with this memory is that knowing it is only a nightmare does not make coping any easier. In fact, knowing that Lloyd won't wake up to Zelos being alive and well only makes it harder, the knowledge that yeah, that happened, and there's no going back from it working against the few coping methods Lloyd does have.
So instead of answering, Lloyd pulls his knees to his chest, folds his arms over them, and hides his face as he cries.
He wants to be embarrassed, all things considered, of crying in front of the blade he shares resonance with, of not being able to talk either in real life or even in a dream, of being quite useless, in the grand scheme of things, but the corpse of the man he loved haunts him, the ghost of his hand on Lloyd's cheek and the whisper of "you can drop the act, now" forcing him into a spiral of thoughts that snake around his heart and squeeze until he thinks it'll stop beating.
Lloyd isn't sure how long it takes until he's able to stop crying, doesn't know how long it takes until his eyes can no longer cry, but eventually his shoulders stop shaking with the force of his silent sobs and all that's left is his red face, bloodshot eyes, and a chest that's wracked with hiccups. And once he calms down from the worst of that, he finally pushes his head back up from behind his arms and stares blankly ahead, refusing to look at Mithos.
"Thank you," he manages to say aloud, voice quiet and rough, "sorry you had to see all of that."
DID I SAY FUN, I MEANT TRAUMATIZING
He should answer the Aegis, he knows, reassure him that he's not mad, that frankly, he appreciates his interference in the first place, but the problem with this memory is that knowing it is only a nightmare does not make coping any easier. In fact, knowing that Lloyd won't wake up to Zelos being alive and well only makes it harder, the knowledge that yeah, that happened, and there's no going back from it working against the few coping methods Lloyd does have.
So instead of answering, Lloyd pulls his knees to his chest, folds his arms over them, and hides his face as he cries.
He wants to be embarrassed, all things considered, of crying in front of the blade he shares resonance with, of not being able to talk either in real life or even in a dream, of being quite useless, in the grand scheme of things, but the corpse of the man he loved haunts him, the ghost of his hand on Lloyd's cheek and the whisper of "you can drop the act, now" forcing him into a spiral of thoughts that snake around his heart and squeeze until he thinks it'll stop beating.
Lloyd isn't sure how long it takes until he's able to stop crying, doesn't know how long it takes until his eyes can no longer cry, but eventually his shoulders stop shaking with the force of his silent sobs and all that's left is his red face, bloodshot eyes, and a chest that's wracked with hiccups. And once he calms down from the worst of that, he finally pushes his head back up from behind his arms and stares blankly ahead, refusing to look at Mithos.
"Thank you," he manages to say aloud, voice quiet and rough, "sorry you had to see all of that."