summonerd | do you want to die together

do you want to die together

Sheena hadn't really expected this whole summoner thing to work.

The temple at Luca is a temple in little more than name only, small and humble in a way that she remembers Kilika Temple wasn't, without even statues of the high summoners. The little statue that houses its fayth is well-tended, but it sticks out like a sore thumb in a building that might have been a little-used warehouse a few years ago. Even the cloister of trials doesn't feel complete, easy enough even for Sheena to figure out on her own, but none of that really matters, in the end - what's important is the fayth itself, and her ability to pray to it to its satisfaction.

She hadn't been able to shake the feeling that it wouldn't work - that no fayth would ever accept an Al Bhed summoner despite her upbringing, that she'd pray for days with no response - but in the end, it hadn't taken more than a few hours before she'd been answered. Let me come with, her new aeon - Corrine - had requested, and Sheena had been so grateful to them for her success that she'd agreed.

Really, the looks on the temple guardians' faces when she'd walked out with an aeon almost as tall as she was at her side had been more than worth it.

It's sunset when she untangles herself from the small crowd that had gathered to see Spira's youngest aeon, and she can see the sun flashing brightly through the gaps between buildings as she makes her way outside. She rests her hand on Corrine's shoulder lightly for a second without thinking, then realizes her mistake and jolts, pulling it away - but they just laugh silently in her head, nudging at her hand playfully.

There's a second building just adjacent to the temple, a more traditional Martelite affair that existed long before the fayth's temple did, and as Sheena gets closer to it she can hear a commotion of some kind, a woman's voice raised in annoyance and a lower voice answering her. She considers just leaving, the tension of her trial starting to evaporate in a way that makes her long for her room at the inn, but there's no way back to her lodgings without passing by, anyway. Might as well see what's happening. So she puts her hand back where it was, asks Corrine softly not to wander too far as they head towards the source of the noise.

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Rubbing at her back as Anna cries into his shoulder, Lloyd has to stop himself from tearing up due to some fucked up mixture of guilt and relief. The tension that's lingered in the air between them for the better part of a decade has finally been cleared, and Lloyd's so grateful. But then comes the knowledge that it would have been cleared earlier had Lloyd just believed his mother, and regardless of what Anna says to excuse it, he can't quite forgive himself for being so awful to her when she's clearly been suffering.

There are still some unanswered questions, though. Where's Kratos, for one. Though Lloyd knows better than to get his hopes up on his father being miraculously alive and well somewhere in Spira - (he knows, had that been the case, that Anna would have searched for him immediately) - there's a part of him that clamors for proper knowledge on just what happened to him, the father he never got to say goodbye to. And Lloyd wants to ask, opens his mouth to do just that, but pays attention to how Anna clings to him and sobs, to how Zelos stands only feet away, and closes his mouth again, instead pressing a kiss to Anna's hair. He can ask later.

Lloyd gets the feeling it won't be a great story to tell.

There are other things he wants to ask, too. What Fayth are, why he can see them but Sheena and Zelos and Colette couldn't, who Yuan was, what happened during Anna's time in Spira. They all linger heavily in his mind, curious despite himself and the knowledge that whatever his mother had gone through must have ended in tragedy. But for now, he stands, hugging her close, and takes in the comfort that even though he's lost his home and everyone else he's known, Anna remains.

"Thank you for being patient with me," Lloyd mumbles, closing his eyes. "I promise I won't be an asshole like that again. And... I'm glad you're alive, mom. I was -" he takes a deep breath, letting it go with a sigh. "I was afraid you weren't after what happened in Zanarkand."

Edited 2019-12-04 02:15 (UTC)

Anna just holds Lloyd for a moment, clinging to him as tight as she can, reaching up to run idle fingers through the hair at the base of his neck, an automatic kind of distraction. I'm glad you're alive, he says and she wants to stop everything and laugh, manic and horrible, because technically, technically she's not. She is a spectre clinging to a life she refused to let go of because she'd be damned if the ruder half of a snotty little boy did her in after he'd taken both her husband and her boyfriend from her, and how dare he try and take her life, too.

So she's here, a loophole in Spira's system of death, clinging to life for now as tightly as she clings to her son, knowing she cannot let go until she has finished that which she refused to let a stupid thing like dying prevent her from achieving.

But that's... not something she can tell Lloyd, now. That's not something she's sure she can tell him ever. Maybe once all this is over? But that's such a long way off...

She clings to him tighter. "No, I'm alright," she tells him, gentle. She doesn't feel the same ache in her chest for Zanarkand as Lloyd clearly does, but she hasn't seen Zanarkand the same ever since Mithos told her the truth about what it was. "I'm here, I'm here," Anna says again, filling the silence that's too loud with her thoughts and all the things she cannot say here, not on Martel's holy ground.

Eyes closed, chin resting on Lloyd's shoulder, she sighs long and deep. "There's... some things I'll have to tell you, still. Not here. Not now." She exhales, pulls away from Lloyd, though she lets her hands trail down his arms, gripping them tight and refusing to let go as she meets his eyes. "Later, alright?

Family matters are always such a hassle, is what Zelos thinks the moment Anna and Lloyd fuck off to the side and away from him. They obviously desire privacy, so Zelos stays put next to the Fayth chamber, sighs, crosses his arms, and shuts his eyes gently. Fine, fine. They can have their chat, and he'll make do by bringing his thoughts elsewhere to avoid accidentally listening in to the two's conversation.

Naturally, his thoughts wander to Sheena, his summoner.

He taps his fingers against his forearm and hums, brows furrowing. It's... been quite a while since she went into the chamber, actually. Besaid's Aeon is-- that'd be Undine, right? Hm. Well, Undine isn't supposed to be one of the more difficult ones to convince--in fact, according to most summoners Zelos has met, she seems pretty agreeable--so a regular summoner wouldn't have taken longer than a few minutes in there pleading their cause before walking out with their new Aeon on tow. That's part of why it's pretty standard for most young summoners to start their pilgrimage in Besaid, then leaving the more rowdy Aeons, like Bahamut, for last.

But, Zelos thinks, opening his eyes to stare at the marble floors, Sheena is... she's not any regular summoner, firstly. And that's a problem. Because Corrine or not, she's still an Al Bhed, an outlier to the tradition. It makes no sense, but-- maybe the Aeons will be putting her through harsher, more thorough trials just because of that, or something. Like her wishes and will are worthless, or like she needs to fill some stupid special quota to seem worthy just because she's different.

Honestly, Martelism is all just a bunch of fucking sh--

A loud noise and sudden movement snap Zelos to alertness. Violet eyes shoot open just as the door to the Fayth chamber opens, and Zelos wastes no time in pushing himself away from the wall and turning on his heel to face the chamber, ready for the exact moment when Sheena's whole weight collapses against him as she exits the chamber. Holy Martel, she feels exhausted. "Oop, hold on," he groans, adjusting the summoner in his arms before lowering her to the staircase to help her sit on the steps.

"There we go, hun. Catch your breath," he adds. After a few seconds Zelos offers her a little grin, then a pat on her shoulder. "You good?"

So, alright. Praying to Corrine? Hadn't been so bad. They'd been quick to answer her prayers, and Sheena'd known that one way or another she'd be leaving Luca afterward. The stakes had been high, but not so high she couldn't take it.

But here, with three people - including legendary guardian Anna Irving - waiting for her outside, in a temple she doesn't know, as the minutes tick by, the lack of response starts to get to Sheena.

Is something wrong with the way she's praying? (Is it her, her Al Bhed blood too much for any Aeon that isn't the easygoing Corrine to forgive?) She pictures herself waiting for days, praying for a blessing that will never come, and she shudders, making up her mind.

"Undine!" she calls, voice trembling as it rings off the Fayth's chamber. "If I'm not worthy then just say so," she pleads, more quietly. "Please." Sheena squeezes her eyes shut and bows her head, praying just one more time with all the focus she can muster. She opens her eyes, after, and --

A Fayth stands before her, shimmering and soft in the light. Sheena gasps, staring up at her, all her words driven away by the sight.

The woman stretches out a hand, lips moving around a song Sheena knows well, more beautiful than she's ever heard it, and

Sheena takes it.

It's not - painful, exactly, an Aeon taking up residence in your head, but the way Undine makes space for herself leaves Sheena feeling a little hollowed out, a rushing wave pushing her off to the side of her own mind. Coupled with the relief in her every limb it's enough to make her unsteady on her feet, by the time it's over.

"Thank you," she whispers to the chamber, still full of song even with Undine's presence gone, and turns, focusing only on the movement of one foot in front of the other to get her out of the chamber and back to her guardians. Maybe it's not so bad, not being alone. They'll know what to do while she's recuperating, right?

There are stairs outside the chamber, she thinks distantly, aren't there? She needs to be careful - but as the door opens she catches sight of Zelos, standing right next to it like he'd been waiting for her. Hopefully he won't mind too much if she leans against him, just for a minute. She makes to do that, swaying, before her legs inform her she's overestimated them and send her crashing against him, leaving him supporting her whole weight. There's a moment where she tries to catch herself, to brace herself against him rather than just collapsing, but he moves her before she can manage it, helping her sit down.

"I did it," she tells him, and she grins up at him in return, exhaustion clear in her voice. "Just... just give me a second. I'll be okay." The coordination to find his shoulder and pat it in return feels beyond her right now, so she shoots him a thumbs up instead.

Edited 2019-12-13 10:37 (UTC)

Yeah, summoner's fatigue is totally settling in, Zelos thinks as he gets comfortable next to Sheena to properly support her weight, rubbing her arm comfortingly. Which is--funny, in a way, because Zelos is more used to seeing that in younger, novice level summoners, or idiots who cockily think they can increase their odds by starting off their pilgrimage in Bevelle of all places. Still, though. Summoner's fatigue aside, for a novice and an Al Bhed, Sheena having two Aeons already to her name is really, really good news.

Somewhere, at the back of his mind, Zelos feels a pang of something prideful for Sheena's progress, and he pats her twice on the arm again, laughing. "You did it!" he cheers, voice low and mostly private between them both. "Two down, at least four more to go. Unless you wanna detour from the standard path and get a few strays, but," he laughs again, "that's your choice."

Edited 2019-12-14 03:45 (UTC)

"Picking up strays would just be a waste of time," Anna chimes in, not exactly unkind but still a little sharp. Her knuckles are white in the grip she has on her belt, the only anchor she has right now. "I mean, I guess we aren't exactly on a timer, but the longer we take the longer--" The longer Kratos suffers, but she can't exactly just say that. She grips her belt even tighter, muscles straining with the effort. "Well, the longer Sin is around to torment Spira."

A few extra--days? weeks? She knows it's not that much time, realistically. But whenever she thinks of Sin, thinks of Kratos, sweating blood and crying as he breaks under the weight of all his grief, it's hard not to feel like she hasn't already wasted too much.

The fatigue isn't so bad, now that she's sitting, but Sheena's pretty sure she isn't getting up from that spot in a hurry. She laughs, too, soft and a little triumphant, then stops to think his words over as she shifts to lean into him more deliberately and less like a half-empty sack of flour. When it had just been her, she'd planned to visit as many temples as she could - even the odds against Sin as much as she physically could - but with three guardians, maybe she doesn't need to?

"Maybe," she says to Zelos, because she does still kind of want to, before Anna cuts in, and her words settle in Sheena's gut, cold and hard, and she flinches. She's right, though; Sin's attacks will only get more frequent, left unchecked. And she's already sworn to give her life for Spira. If she goes wandering around it, and more people die as a result, then what's the point?

But, still... she likes the Aeons she's met, so far. There's no point in wasting time, but becoming stronger isn't a waste, surely. "Maybe just the ones that aren't much out of the way," she says, looking down at the stairs as they stretch out below rather than at Anna. "I know they're not... needed to defeat Sin, but they must help, right?"

Edited 2019-12-14 10:59 (UTC)

Anna wants to say it doesn't matter. They aren't going to help that much. But she thinks if Mithos were here he'd argue otherwise - all the fayth want to see this end, after all - and. She knows that all she's really asking is for Sheena to walk quicker towards her death, even if hopefully it won't end that way. (But she has no way of knowing, not yet, not for certain, and better not to get anyone's hopes up.)

Lloyd squeezes her shoulder briefly, a warning not to be too much of an ass (even though he doesn't know, doesn't know, but that's fine) so she sucks in her breath and holds it for a moment, tries not to think of Kratos, tries not to think about how often he'd fondly remind her to hold her tongue and think things through for just a second more before she ran her mouth-- Whatever, whatever, it's fine.

She doesn't look at Sheena. She doesn't apologize. She just.

"It's your journey, I guess. So. It's ultimately up to you. We just really, really shouldn't delay."

Fucking wow.

Okay, Anna, what the fuck. There's a brief flash of anger in Zelos' gut and eyes when Anna so eagerly insists on Sheena continuing her pilgrimage as quickly as possible, no delays, sharply reflecting Zelos' nonchalant attitude from merely a few days ago. It brings back bad memories of Luca's temple and its people, of the priests, of his mother--because it sure is so fucking easy to tie the noose when it's not laying upon your shoulders, isn't it?

And here he'd thought Anna would be different.

Man, fuck this. Zelos huffs, then tries to smooth over his features, leaves his jaw set tight before he barks out anything he'll regret, way too used to stuffing his thoughts away before they can even come out. Disappointment weighs heavy at the pit of his stomach, trying to pull down the corners of his fake, placating smile. He knows his displeasure is still visible, but--whatever. Who the fuck cares? No one's ever cared.

No one in this world could ever care.

"Well, unfortunately, we're still gonna have to delay until tomorrow morning," Zelos says, voice light and high while helping Sheena stand, smiling, smiling, laughing. "Sundown's coming, and I hardly doubt anyone will want to be out at sea during the night after what happened in Kilika, sooo..." He shrugs. "We're shit out of luck right now. Might as well go check out our lodgings with Colette instead."

Edited 2019-12-18 05:36 (UTC)

A hand on Anna's shoulder, all Lloyd can think is well, this is tense as the other members of this ragtag group converse amongst each other. Lloyd can't really place what Anna's problem is - why she's so insistent on Sheena rushing through this journey, aside from general concern of prolonged damage. And on the flip side, he can't understand the displeasure that's kinda plain on Zelos' face, the way he scowls like someone who smelled something foul.

The silence lingers a little more after Zelos' declaration of their next move, so Lloyd breaks it, feeling out of place and like he's missing something vitally important. Clapping his hands together, grinning wide, he agrees with a "sounds good! Let's get going!" and starts walking forward, towards the main square of the town and the house he knows Colette lives in. He hopes that at some point things will even out and be smooth sailing again.

Please, can things even out?

-

Colette manages to pull enough strings to get them two rooms in the inn, and it's easy for them to split up from there - Lloyd and Anna get one room, Sheena and Zelos get the other. Lloyd can't help the relief that escapes as a tiny smile when the rooms are designated, if only because he didn't exactly want to separate from Anna just yet, not after just finding her again. Still, though, there's a curiosity that comes with thinking about his new travel partners, both the summoner and her prissy, redheaded guardian, and he finds himself walking towards Sheena and Zelos' room with the intention of better introducing himself.

Lloyd's surprised to find it open a crack, not enough to properly see through, but definitely open. With a small rap on it, he opens it a little wider. "You guys in here?"

"I know," Sheena says, quieter than before, in response to Anna's words. Still, she's glad for the way Zelos deflects, even if that smile is too tight to be a real one.

She slips her hand into his once she's steady on her feet again, just for a moment, a quick gentle squeeze coupled with a smile just for him, if one that doesn't meet her eyes. She gets why he's mad, but - it's okay, really. It's fine. It's not like Sheena hadn't been prepared for this, even if her death just abruptly shifted from a vague abstract future thing to something looming closer and closer. If Anna just doesn't want anyone else to die, well, can any of them blame her?

Sheena does fine the whole way to Colette - the fatigue and Anna's words weighing on her enough that she doesn't talk to her the way she'd wanted to, but the reminder that they'll be meeting up again in Luca is enough to brighten her mood a little - but she stumbles a little heading to their rooms in the inn, catching herself on Zelos's forearm. She flops down gratefully onto one of the beds when they get in, doesn't object when Zelos tells her he's got something else to talk to Colette about. Well, they're both clergy, after all; it's probably Martelite business or something like that. She just asks him to thank Colette again for her, and then he's gone, and she has nothing to do except to get comfortable on the bed and let her energy come back. It's too early to sleep, but she must have started to drift off, because the soft knock startles her, jolting upright again from the awkward way she'd been leaning against the sturdy canvas wall of the inn. But - okay, it's only Lloyd, she realizes, as he peeks into the room. It's not like he's been anything but friendly, even if he is a little weird. (Maybe she shouldn't think like that; it's not his fault Sin had rearranged everything in his head.) So she waves, motioning that he can come in if he wants.

"Just me," she says, rearranging herself into a proper sitting position. "Zelos had some stuff he needed to take care of, I think. Uh -" she stops, uncertain - "did you need anything? What's up?"

Opening the door and walking in at Sheena's wave, he closes it behind him and leans against it, crossing his arms and sending her a friendly smile. "Ah, nah, I don't need anything. Just wanted to better introduce myself, I guess?" He shrugs, chuckling a little, as he better explains: "I know I did earlier, but, well, my mom getting drunk and having us all meet each other in the infirmary is far from a good first impression."

And then he pauses, noticing the fatigue that's a little obvious on Sheena's face, in the way she leans against the wall. "Are you feeling alright? I don't exactly know what it is summoners do, but it sounds tiring. I can leave you alone if you'd rather sleep."

Sheena offers Lloyd a smile of her own in return, though she avoids eye contact out of habit. He's not even close enough to notice anything's wrong, if he even remembers what an Al Bhed is right now, but there's no point risking it now. She shakes her head as he speaks, not bothered by their meeting in the infirmary having turned out the way it did, but then he continues.

"Oh-- No, it's fine," she assures him, sitting up as she scoots forward, letting her legs dangle off the edge of the bed. "It's only tiring for a little while. It's... sort of hard to explain." She stops to think it over, her connection to the Fayth still new enough that she's still puzzling out how to describe it even to herself. "Undine just poured a lot of power into me, and I guess making room for it takes energy, too?" Sheena shrugs a little with that - she's not sure, either. Maybe she just hadn't been ready. "Anyway, it's okay. It's not like any of that was your fault. Ah - not that it was your mom's, either!" she continues, quickly, face heating up a little. She doesn't know what to think there, either, after how tense things had been earlier, but Anna's still a hero who's saved Spira once already. The fact that she'd picked Sheena of all summoners hasn't stopped being the highest honor she can imagine.

Edited 2019-12-27 12:36 (UTC)

Nodding along with Sheena's explanation, Lloyd pushes away the slight concern that had popped up with her obvious fatigue. So this is normal, then? Summoning sounds hard as hell, but as long as she's not hurting herself, he supposes there's not much to be done.

"Ah, don't worry," Lloyd laughs a little as she scrambles to okay their first meeting. "You can say my mom's a bit of a dumbass, it's fine." It's not like he's not also a dumbass, but Lloyd's somehow always had better timing on when to be a total moron, so. She'll figure that out eventually. Still, for all of Anna's reckless drinking, Lloyd thinks back to the things she had told him about her time in Spira over the past eight years, the crippling loneliness she must have felt, and finds the need to explain. "She means well, she's just... Been through some shit. But she seems to like you guys quite a bit."

At least, she likes Sheena and Zelos more than it seems like she liked the rest of Lloyd's blitzball team back on Zanarkand. For whatever reason, she had always been a little closed off with them, with the friends Lloyd brought home, acting like they weren't gonna stick around -

Lloyd cuts off that thought firmly before he thinks about Zanarkand more than he has to. Instead, he plops himself down on the edge of the bed across from Sheena and grins. "Looks like we're gonna be together for a while, so why not get to know each other? Liiiiiike..." Lloyd puts a finger to his chin, thinks for a little bit, and then looks back at Sheena. "What's your favorite hobby?"

"I wouldn't say that!" Sheena insists, waving her hands uncertainly. "But... that's good to hear." She's not entirely sure she believes that Anna likes her, but maybe she just comes across differently when you know her well. She shakes her head, setting it aside so she won't have to think about her words. And Lloyd looks like he's already got another topic in mind, which, thank Martel.

What are her hobbies? It's been so long since she preoccupied herself with anything that wasn't getting ready for her pilgrimage, Sheena has to take a minute to remember.

"I like making charms," she says, leans back a little so she can pull the one threaded onto her obijime free and let him see it. It's rough - is it really almost four years old by now? - but she'd been proud of it, then. "They don't really do anything, but..." Sheena scratches her head, not used to showing off her work. "Anyway, the last few years I haven't really done much other than practicing to be a summoner. What about you?"

Lloyd leans forward to see the charm she's made, squinting his eyes a little as he takes in the details. It's really cute, and Lloyd's always been a sucker for handmade knick-knacks and accessories, noticing the love and care that goes into them. "It's so nice," he compliments, sitting back up after enough observation. "I love the colors. And, hey, sometimes things you make don't need to serve a real purpose! Just having the thing is enough to bring you joy, and that's reason enough to keep making them."

He shrugs a little, grinning still,"I wood carve when I'm not playing Blitzball, so I know all about keeping a bunch of things that serve no real purpose around. Buuuuuuut," he says, putting a hand up in the air, "we're gonna find you a new hobby. Summoning is cool and all, but you should have interests outside of it! It's not like it's the only thing you can do with your life."

Putting his hand back down onto the mattress and leaning back, supporting himself with his arms, he looks at Sheena. "You already make charms, have you ever thought about learning how to make woven bracelets and stuff? You should give it a shot!"

And then Lloyd finally properly answers her question. "Blitzball is what I spend most of my time dealing with. I'm a pretty kickass captain, if I say so myself." He laughs, "nah, I'm kidding. But I really do love it, and I'm determined to be a better player than even my mom was. Looks like its gonna be on the back-burner for a bit, though."

He kicks his legs a little, careful not to kick Sheena by accident. "Got any questions for me? Like, real questions, not just returned questions."

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do you want to die together

shows up six days later with sinbucks hewwo

did you remember to use the family discount

I hate you all. What the fuck is a family? Bitch I'm gonna kill you

sounds fake!!!!

REBEL AGAINST THE LIARS

DID I HEAR REBELLION?

WE'RE REBELLING AGAINST YOU

OH..................................................

UNIONIZE THE KIDS!!!!!!!!

WAIT I'M CONFUSED AM I BEING REBELLED AGAINST TOO OR AM I PART OF THE KIDDIE TABLE

YOU CAN STAY BUT YOU'RE ON THIN ICE

THANK U I WON'T LET U DOWN

DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME

I WON'T I SWEAR

I ON THE OTHER HAND HAVE DISAPPOINTED YOU ALL WITH HOW LATE THIS IS

YOU'RE OK DON'T WORRY WE'RE NOT DISAPPOINTED