Kratos blinks. He's the reason Lloyd and Sheena's world was messed up? Sheena did say he was only one of the people, though, and Kratos can assume well enough... if their two worlds are reflected as closely as they same to be... Mithos was one of the others, wasn't he? He wonders if Martel was also involved, or if she died in that other world, too, and then decides to stop thinking about that.
He tries to fathom a guilt so strong he'd abandon his son (in a time of need!!) in order to cope with it, and still comes up short. He knows... maybe he's not the bravest man in the world, so he can kind of understand running from problems rather than facing them (he HAS been in hiding for the past four hundred years, after all, did not have the courage or the means to stop any wars after the first--) But that's different, isn't it? And he'd still like to think he'd do... anything, for Lloyd. Anything, so long as it meant Lloyd's happiness, and safety, and.
Oh.
Did he think Lloyd would be better off without him? Is that it?
Does that excuse it?
"You don't have to apologize," Kratos assures Sheena, scowling at his own sudden grasp of self-awareness, and how much he hates its taste. "I think you have every right to be upset. That was a foolish and selfish thing to do. Assuming Lloyd that did not need him, or want him..."
(As if he can judge. As if he would not do the same, as if there have not been a million decisions he's made because he's just assumed he is overstepping boundaries and asking too much and so better to ask for too little, for nothing at all--
Can he really say he's better? He wants to say so, wants to say because he's trying, but-- Is that enough? Is it up to him to make that call?
He hates this. He wishes he could punch that other Kratos in the face.)
He takes a deep breath, counts up to three, stops there because it's not really helping his anger. "Is it too late to tell him he's full of shit?" he asks, somewhere between tired and hoping. "I know I'm-- Sometimes I overthink things too much, so it might not be too hard to set him straight."
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He tries to fathom a guilt so strong he'd abandon his son (in a time of need!!) in order to cope with it, and still comes up short. He knows... maybe he's not the bravest man in the world, so he can kind of understand running from problems rather than facing them (he HAS been in hiding for the past four hundred years, after all, did not have the courage or the means to stop any wars after the first--) But that's different, isn't it? And he'd still like to think he'd do... anything, for Lloyd. Anything, so long as it meant Lloyd's happiness, and safety, and.
Oh.
Did he think Lloyd would be better off without him? Is that it?
Does that excuse it?
"You don't have to apologize," Kratos assures Sheena, scowling at his own sudden grasp of self-awareness, and how much he hates its taste. "I think you have every right to be upset. That was a foolish and selfish thing to do. Assuming Lloyd that did not need him, or want him..."
(As if he can judge. As if he would not do the same, as if there have not been a million decisions he's made because he's just assumed he is overstepping boundaries and asking too much and so better to ask for too little, for nothing at all--
Can he really say he's better? He wants to say so, wants to say because he's trying, but-- Is that enough? Is it up to him to make that call?
He hates this. He wishes he could punch that other Kratos in the face.)
He takes a deep breath, counts up to three, stops there because it's not really helping his anger. "Is it too late to tell him he's full of shit?" he asks, somewhere between tired and hoping. "I know I'm-- Sometimes I overthink things too much, so it might not be too hard to set him straight."