summonerd | i just wanna know: who broke it?

Sheena just nods as he clarifies, as much to show she doesn't mind as to show she's listening, watches him deliberate. She pauses to wonder why he'd ask her and not Lloyd, but sets it aside in favor of being glad he did. Lloyd doesn't need to have this dragged up again, really. It's easier for her to talk about it.

"I kind of wonder that, too," she says, with a humorless laugh. "I can't really say I know all of the details, but..." She takes a slow breath, uses the time to gather her thoughts. Where does she start, with a topic as broad as 'reasons Lloyd's dad is the worst'?

"Our world was... pretty messed up," she starts, runs a hand through her bangs. "In a lot of different ways, but-- the important part is that the Kratos from our world was one of the people responsible for messing it up in the first place." Sheena hesitates, because maybe that's not entirely fair? But for all that they'd helped, Yuan and Kratos had let Mithos do what he wanted to the worlds for thousands of years, at least - and she can't think of any way to articulate that without bringing up Mithos to begin with.

"I think maybe some of the reason he left was just the guilt of Lloyd having to be the one to take on most of the burden of fixing it? Staying would have meant facing everything he'd done, and..." If she'd been frowning thoughtfully before, it's something darker now, anger on Lloyd's behalf rising up in her as she continues, and she remembers belatedly to try and close off her end of the emotional link. "Even if his son needed him, I guess that was too much for him."

She realizes then that he might think her scowl is meant for him, and, well - he seems better than the other Kratos, so far, at least. So she pulls her face into something a little more neutral, lets out a laugh that isn't quite so dry as she says, "Sorry. I guess I'm still a little mad about it."

Kratos blinks. He's the reason Lloyd and Sheena's world was messed up? Sheena did say he was only one of the people, though, and Kratos can assume well enough... if their two worlds are reflected as closely as they same to be... Mithos was one of the others, wasn't he? He wonders if Martel was also involved, or if she died in that other world, too, and then decides to stop thinking about that.

He tries to fathom a guilt so strong he'd abandon his son (in a time of need!!) in order to cope with it, and still comes up short. He knows... maybe he's not the bravest man in the world, so he can kind of understand running from problems rather than facing them (he HAS been in hiding for the past four hundred years, after all, did not have the courage or the means to stop any wars after the first--) But that's different, isn't it? And he'd still like to think he'd do... anything, for Lloyd. Anything, so long as it meant Lloyd's happiness, and safety, and.

Oh.

Did he think Lloyd would be better off without him? Is that it?

Does that excuse it?

"You don't have to apologize," Kratos assures Sheena, scowling at his own sudden grasp of self-awareness, and how much he hates its taste. "I think you have every right to be upset. That was a foolish and selfish thing to do. Assuming Lloyd that did not need him, or want him..."

(As if he can judge. As if he would not do the same, as if there have not been a million decisions he's made because he's just assumed he is overstepping boundaries and asking too much and so better to ask for too little, for nothing at all--

Can he really say he's better? He wants to say so, wants to say because he's trying, but-- Is that enough? Is it up to him to make that call?

He hates this. He wishes he could punch that other Kratos in the face.)

He takes a deep breath, counts up to three, stops there because it's not really helping his anger. "Is it too late to tell him he's full of shit?" he asks, somewhere between tired and hoping. "I know I'm-- Sometimes I overthink things too much, so it might not be too hard to set him straight."

Sheena makes a little hum of agreement, eyes still on Kratos as he thinks it through. Lloyd had mentioned that he seemed like a better person than their Kratos, and she'd believed him, especially after yesterday, but - that's not the highest bar to clear. Hearing him condemn his alternate self's actions helps cement her view of him a little better, at least.

"I wish," she says, shaking her head, and looks like she means it. She wouldn't exactly turn down the opportunity to punch Kratos, either, if it was offered. "When everything was over, he took the rest of the organization he was part of and left into space. It's been about six months, so..." Sheena shrugs. "I'm not sure even Origin's power could do anything about it, now." Well. Maybe? She sets that idea aside for later, unlikely as it sounds to her ears.

"He," Kratos says, then stops, running Sheena's words over in his head again as if that will make them make any more sense. "Space?" he repeats, numbly, understanding the word and what Sheena has said but still not quite getting it, not liking the shape of the picture that has been painted for him. "He-- what the fuck?"

It's a cold, kind of sharp anger, one still buried in disbelief.

Edited 2019-07-23 19:56 (UTC)

In any other situation Sheena's pretty sure that reaction, coming from the mouth of a Kratos, would have been hilarious, but as things are, she can't quite find the humor in it.

"Pretty much," she says, pulling a face. "It's - the comet their base was on couldn't stay so close to the planet, after everything we changed, and it would have been hard to find a new place for all of the angels to live, but," she takes a breath, reminding herself not to get too in depth unless she actually wants to explain Mithos's plan of creating a world where no one had hearts, which she absolutely does not. "That doesn't mean he had to be the one to leave with it."

There's a note of concern from Zelos, and Sheena winces just a tiny bit, realizing that he'd probably felt her reaction to talking about Kratos before she cut it off. She smooths her emotions over as best she can, opening the link enough to send something reassuring back his way. The note of fondness isn't entirely intentional, but maybe it helps cover up the low bitter anger notes still roiling in her heart like an old wound. They don't feel directed at Zelos, at least.

Edited 2019-07-24 00:49 (UTC)

Kratos scowls. It makes sense, is what he keeps finding, at least abstractly. Comet couldn't stay? Fine. But-- Sheena's right. Why did Kratos have to go?

Kratos-- this Kratos doesn't really feel the weight of duty, he just understands it, vaguely, conceptually, as all blades do. (Duty to a driver he never even got to know...) But he cannot imagine picking duty over family. He simply cannot.

"You're right," Kratos says. "He should have stayed. I still-- Maybe I can understand why he did that, but I'm still quite certain it was the wrong choice." Honestly, look at how it has left Lloyd, in the fallout. Look at how adrift he is, now. "If I could kick my own ass, I would."

And once he's said that, he gets kind of embarrassed, tries to rein it back in.

"Anyway." He clears his throat. "Thank you for answering my question. I'm not sure the answer has brought me any peace, but I... I appreciate knowing some of what you and Lloyd have dealt with, I suppose."

He fidgets, a little, and then: "That was... all I wanted to talk about," Kratos says. "So unless you had something you wanted to ask me...?"

That one startles an actual laugh out of Sheena, though she cuts it short with a hand over her mouth. "It's not like you're the same person," she says, a little awkwardly. "But I get it. I would've liked the chance, too."

She waves his gratitude off. "It's no problem," she says. "And... thanks for asking me about it, instead of Lloyd. I'm pretty sure he still has a hard time talking about this."

Hm. She pauses to think about that - would the question she has in mind be too much? It feels like it might be, but on the other hand, she's not really exposing any secrets here that Kratos doesn't already know. And it's not like she'll stop worrying about it if she doesn't ask. So.

"Actually, if it's okay... you knew the other Aegises, right?" Of course he did, Sheena, they're Mithos and Martel. "Is--" Hm. No, that's not the right wording. She starts over: "Just - Zelos, yesterday. That's not... normal for blades, right?"

Kratos hesitates for a long moment, rolling Zelos' actions over in his mind-- more out of an inherent want to come to peace with them than actually finding Sheena's question difficult. Because...

"No," he says, simply. He just doesn't have much of an answer past that. "Whatever that was, yesterday..." He has guesses, but feels weird speaking without certainty.

He tries to find somewhere to start that's slightly less direct. When he finally does find the words words, he speaks haltingly, somewhat pained. "I admit I don't know nearly as much about the artificial Aegises-- about Zelos and Colette-- as I do the originals. But. Mithos and Martel... they were both held captive for only a few years before I rescued them. Tethe'alla has had Zelos for... almost a hundred years, now. That's plenty of time to do... who knows what."

He trembles, slightly, likely imperceptible other than the shakiness of his inhales and exhales. He reaches his left hand over to his right wrist, gripping it loosely and running his thumb back and forth over where his ether lines are, even if they are not exposed. It's soothing. Helps him stay grounded. (Reminds him, a little, of Anna.)

"I always thought Zelos and Colette were better off," he continues, chest tight. "Since they were never being used in the cannons, but." He smiles, bitter. "I suppose I should know better than anyone else that humans don't need the cannons to do horrible things to blades."

"Oh," Sheena says, softly, almost more an exhalation of horror than a word. She'd thought - well, Zelos looks like he's the same age as their Zelos had been. She hadn't even wondered. If he'd been treated like that for a hundred years...

"... That would do it, I guess," she says, still quiet. "That's --" She shakes her head, hard, to clear it. "Whoever did that to him better hope I never run into them." Her voice is dark, barely restrained; she swallows, slowly, double-checks that the emotional link is still closed.

"Mm," Kratos says, in agreement, feeling much the same. He certainly won't show any mercy when they reach those holding Colette captive, and not just because of Martel and the cannon and whatever else is going on.

And then it hits him, all of a sudden. It's not that he'd forgotten, exactly, just that he'd forgotten to think about it.

Sheena's human.

Kratos is perhaps more startled by the fact it had managed to slip his mind for an entire converastion than the fact he's remembered it. Imagine that. A human who isn't Anna that doesn't immediately set him on edge.

He laughs a little before he can help it, a soft sound directed at his own winding thoughts. "I- sorry," he says. "It's just... Well." Maybe he shouldn't bring up how much he hates humans, just on principle. "Zelos is lucky to have you for a driver," is what he says instead. "And it's... nice, to speak with a human who actually cares about blades. I'm grateful."

For his own sake? For Zelos'? ...yes, both, but he rather hopes Sheena interprets it as the latter.

Oh, Sheena wasn't expecting that at all. She flushes a little, rubs the back of her neck.

"Ah... thanks," she says, sheepish. "I don't think I'm doing anything special, though. I'm just not from here, so it's easier to see how messed up the whole system is."

Is she doing well? It hasn't felt like it, much, with the amount of times she and Zelos have managed to step on each other's toes in only a few short weeks, but... They've improved a little, at least, haven't they?

Thinking about her resonance with Zelos reminds her of the idea that's been sitting at the back of her mind for most of those weeks, that she's been turning over on watch duty and as she drifts off to sleep, without any real success so far. Well, if anyone would have any ideas, Kratos doesn't seem like a bad place to begin.

"While we're on the topic," she starts, shifts her weight to the side. "I don't want to leave things like this, where blades can't do anything about who they resonate with, and I know Lloyd doesn't either, we just - haven't really worked out a plan, yet. You wouldn't have any ideas, would you?"

Edited 2019-07-25 08:34 (UTC)

"I... do not," Kratos says, after some consideration. He certainly does not have any of his own, not any that he thinks would work. "Mithos might, though."

Truthfully Mithos has already had ideas, it's just none of them have worked, yet. Perhaps he would not be opposed to workshopping his ideas, a little. Perhaps a fresh set of eyes-- several fresh sets of eyes, actually-- might...

Oh.

He supposes Mithos might not want to hear any ideas from this traveling party, actually. Maybe Kratos could convince him otherwise? But it would take time, and realistically they aren't going to stay with this party once Mithos is awake (he would not want to dally while Martel was in danger and Kratos would not be able to get him to stay), so...

"It may have to wait until Martel is safe, though," Kratos says, somewhat apologetic.

Sheena almost completely suppresses a flinch at Kratos's words - at the idea of what Mithos's plans for preventing blades from being mistreated by humans must be like - turning it into a thoughtful look, though he might still catch it if he's paying attention. (Not that she can entirely blame him, if Mithos's plans are along the lines of what he'd come up with in the other world, but-- well, obviously that's not going to work.) She nods, instead, a little surprised by his tone.

"Rescuing them is more important for now, anyway," she says. "Just-- for after that. It'll probably be easier with more of a place to start than 'figure out if the Architect is real and see what we have to do to make him fix things.'" From the offhanded way Sheena says it, it almost sounds like she could be talking about not being sure what to make for dinner. She shrugs, with that, offers Kratos a small but still confident smile. "Either way, we've got time to come up with something. We can only cross Sylvarant so fast on foot."

Kratos does, in fact, notice Sheena's flinch, and he scowls at it, more out of confusion and worry than anything else. Anna has mentioned that she thinks Something happened between Lloyd and Sheena and the Mithos they knew, something she probably guesses was Bad, but Kratos hadn't really appreciated what that meant until right now. (All the more reason for him and Mithos to go on ahead, he supposes.) He doesn't say anything, figuring Sheena would rather pretend he didn't notice, so Kratos pretends as such, and focuses instead on her comment.

It's funny, actually, how offhandedly she says it, considering the truth.

"Well, if it helps at all, the Architect is real," Kratos informs her. "Though I'm not certain making him do anything about the mess he made will be easy. Not that I've met him," he clarifies, after a moment. "But Mithos has, and Mithos' opinions of him are..." He trails off, his silence and grimace probably doing more to convey how exactly Mithos feels about his father than words could. Kratos hums, thoughtful. "But maybe he would be more willing to listen to humans, if you asked him for help."

Sheena doesn't even realize Kratos had caught her slip, small as it was. But if this world's creator exists...

She frowns at the implication that the Architect doesn't care about blades, but - well, if he had, would he have created a system like this? "If he's the one who made things like this, then there must be a way to fix them, even if he's not going to help with it," she says, thoughtful. "So that's somewhere to start, at least. Thanks."

"That's true," Kratos agrees. "You're welcome. I appreciate you wanting to help, truly."

He should end the conversation here, perhaps, but: he can't help but be curious about the situation with Mithos, desperate for even an inkling of just how bad things were, in the other universe. Sheena already said she was probably the better person to ask, than Lloyd, and hopefully it was the same about Mithos as it was about the other Kratos. He wonders if he should try and be... a little less direct, though.

Hm.

"Actually, Sheena, if you'll allow me one more question," he begins with. "I know our worlds are reflections of each other, so I'm curious. The Martel, in your world..."

He doesn't know how to finish, but aches to know if she was killed in that world, too (impermanent as it was, in this world, at least), in part from genuine curiosity, in part because knowing the answer to this will help him contextualize things about their Mithos.

He can't quite make himself finish the question, but at least it's clear enough that he's asking after Martel in general.

Oh, she was kind of hoping he wouldn't ask about that, and it's probably obvious from the way she freezes up for just a second. But she did offer, after all. It's not like she can fault Kratos for wanting to know about his family. Sheena hesitates, trying to word her answer as gently as possible.

"That's... another way our worlds are similar," she says, with a wince. "I'm sorry. I can't say I really know much about her, but..." That's not exactly true, but between Cruxis's picture of Martel-the-goddess, her interactions with Martel-the-spirit, and the stories Mithos had told while he'd pretended to be one of them, it's not like there's any simple answer. She'd never really met Martel, at least.

Ah.

Grief strikes in Kratos' core even though he was kind of expecting that answer. He nods, slowly, somewhat numbly.

"That's alright," he says. "That's- that's enough."

He takes a deep breath to steady himself again.

"I, um. I'll let you get back to what you were doing, now," Kratos says, and sends Sheena a grateful, if somewhat shaky smile. "Thank you for..." Answering his questions, even though they were awkward? Being willing to talk to him at all? Caring about blade rights? He says none of those, instead opting for omitting what exactly he is thankful for (she can guess!!) "I appreciate it."

And then he makes his way back to camp, leaving Sheena free to follow at her own pace.

Anna sits not far from the camp's fire, braiding yet another lanyard like Lora showed her just to keep her hands busy. She and Malos chat aimlessly, waiting for everyone else to trickle back. Speaking of-- There's Kratos. He looks... troubled, but when she raises her eyebrows at him in invitation he shakes his head, so whatever it is he doesn't want to talk about it. That's fair.

Kratos sends a cursory look around the camp, scowls with worry and confusion. "Where are Lloyd and Zelos?" he asks.

"Perimeter check!" Anna replies, brightly.

"Ah."

"Seriously, though," Malos says, from his position on the other side of the fire. "How long does it take to do a perimeter check? I'm starting to get worried--"

And that's when Lloyd runs back to camp, grinning like he's the happiest boy alive, cheeks red and out of breath, oblivious it seems to everyone else as he buries his face in his hands and attempts to contain his excitement. It's really only a second before Anna puts two and two together, not like it's hard, exactly. She knows what someone looks like when they've been caught by a crush. Grinning, she opens her mouth, ignoring the please don't tease our son expression Kratos shoots at her.

"Looks like someone had fun on their date!" she calls.

Lloyd jumps at Anna's taunt, lifting his head up with a yelp to turn and look at her. Obviously, it makes sense that they'd see him running into camp, but with his excitement and dumb crush blinding him from any sense, the eyes that stare him down in his complete puddle of uselessness cause embarrassment to run hot through his core, heat rushing to his face again as he gapes at everyone.

"Mom!!!!" he cries, grabbing at his jacket's collar and raising it up to cover the majority of his face, letting it muffle his words. "I-It wasn't a date, and don't say that so loud he could hear you!!!"

His mom is embarrassing him! He never thought he'd say that, but it's happening, right in front of his grandpa and his dad and his best friend and oh my god, Zelos could walk into the campsite any moment now, Anna Irving please have mercy.

Anna's still grinning, enjoying this too much to really feel remorse at the precise second, because it was worth it just for how Lloyd hides his face and all that, right now, and the cadence of his whine as it shapes exasperated and mortified around the word mom.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Anna laughs, still delighted. "Come on, aren't I allowed to tease my son a little! Just a teensy little bit??"

"Absolutely not," Malos says, reaching over and pulling her into a headlock, noogying her gently. "It's not allowed."

"What!!" Anna splutters, annoyed but mostly playing at it. "And why not?"

"Because if you start teasing him I get free reign to tease you about--"

"Oh Architect absolutely not," Anna says, and tries to pry Malos off of her so he'll stop noogying her. This ends the way it always does, with her dragging him to the ground with her and them wrestling playfully, Malos laughing loud and delighted until Anna forgets to be mad.

(It also probably serves as a great way to get the attention off of Lloyd, which might be what Malos had been going for.)

Lloyd snatching the carving before it can hit Zelos' hand comes as such a surprise that he can't help the yelp that escapes his mouth, but at least it's quickly replaced with an incredulous laugh when Lloyd takes off running with it, then trips, then rushes back. Zelos tries to warn him about the root, at least. The fact that Lloyd didn't listen is on him.

At first Zelos has half a mind to race him, and then he thinks about using that speed boosting ability from before to give himself an advantage, but ultimately he dismisses that; honestly, they didn't really complete the perimeter check. The least Zelos can do for their party is walk back to camp while feeling the atmosphere around them, focusing so he can catch anything in a larger range than usual. So he does just that, amplifying his range, slowly making his way and following Lloyd's steps.

It takes him a while to get back, like that, but soon enough he feel his own ether feeding the campfire somewhere close. But before Zelos can reach the camp, he hears an undignified cry from Lloyd echoing through the clearing, then roaring laughter from a voice Zelos now easily recognizes as Anna's. He snorts. Oh, boy. Something's going down. Led by curiosity now, Zelos drops his focus and hurries the rest of the way until he finally breaks foliage and returns to camp, opening his mouth to ask just what the hell did he miss, but all the visual image he gets instead is Anna dragging Malos to the ground and roughhousing her blade.

Oh, okay. That's--not weird, but still not what Zelos was expecting. He makes his way over to where Lloyd is and stands next to him, hands on his hips as he observes the mess happening before them. "Hello?" Zelos calls out, leaning forward. "I leave you people for like twenty minutes and you manage to start fighting! Did I miss something?"

Honestly!

Whatever! It doesn't matter in the end, anyway. Once the playfight ends and everyone's had dinner, the usual night watch arrangements are made and Zelos helps himself to some rest once he realizes that his driver won't be taking a turn tonight. His conversation with Lloyd, awkward as it may have been, sticks at the front of Zelos' mind as he falls asleep and reawakens on a grassy field at sunset, somewhere peaceful, somewhere safe. He spends about a minute just laying there, feeling the fake breeze and sunlight on his skin, taking in the beauty of a world constructed to suit his every whim.

To be honest, he hasn't opened the dreamspace in a long while since his last miserable interaction with Sheena, and he'd intended to keep it that way, but there's something that he still wants to ask. Something about Lloyd's ether and words that haunts him, the sensation of burned ether channels and a pull of power down an arm coalescing on his hand. He said something about an exsphere. Is that what it's like for Sheena, too? How does that affect her? Their lives are very much intertwined. Is she going to be alright after the mines?

Curiosity and worry bloom in his core as he sits up on the grass, pinging a signal to his driver to join him and waiting for an answer.

Sheena's having a nice dream, for once, when Zelos reaches out - something bright and warm and utterly mundane, something that will fade with nothing but the faintest impression left behind. She's never been consciously aware of the connection before it happens, but this time it pulls at her, tugs her away from the dream and into lucidity.

She hesitates, just for a moment, before accepting. Is this really a good idea? But -- he can just kick her out, if he hadn't actually meant to invite her. And she's pretty sure she trusts him not to repeat their first shared dream. There's still a little trepidation in their link as she reaches to accept, gets pulled into Zelos's dreamspace, but only a little.

The atmosphere of Zelos's dream helps on that front almost immediately, as she takes shape, at the foot of the hill. "Hey," she says, raising a hand in greeting with a self-conscious smile, but staying where she is for the moment, keeping a safe distance.

Sheena's acceptance and her form coalescing into the dream manifest themselves in a brief flash of light and a wave of awareness of his driver at the back Zelos' mind. The Aegis lets her talk first, out of courtesy and a freezing anxiety of how she'll react more than anything else. Thankfully, her reaction is more on the positive side, but her smile is hesitant and her distance speaks volumes about how she feels, so Zelos tightens his own mask and greets her with another smile, cheerfully raising a hand to excitedly wave at her in return. "Hey, hun!" he calls out playfully. "Nice of you to drop by!"

The hand comes back down to rest over his knee, his other one set behind him to prop his weight where he sits. He can't feel the grass without taking his gloves off and this upsets him, but any sudden movements are off the table right now, so it'll have to make do. Zelos doesn't get up. Rather, that is all he says and does, for now, and he turns his gaze over to where the sun seemingly lowers over the horizon, an eternal sunset that won't really move so long as the Aegis keeps it that way. It's... calming, though. Somewhere to set his attention to and focus. Ever since getting out it's like sunsets have gotten more and more beautiful.

It helps the smile on his face stay there.

After barely even a few seconds of keeping quiet, Zelos shrugs lazily, eyes still watching the sunlight. "You gonna stand there all dream or are you gonna come join me for the sunset?" he asks, tone high pitched and playful and as nonthreatening as possible, smiling, smiling, smiling, all peace and lies to cover for his nerves when Sheena still doesn't move. "I can't imagine you're comfortable just standing there!"

"It's a dream, it all kind of feels the same," she says, but she acquiesces anyway, taking a seat close-but-not-too-close, keeping him just at arm's reach. There's a moment of silence after that, as Sheena follows his gaze to the sunset in contemplation. If she looks hard enough, she can sort of tell that it's not real, but she can't really put her finger on the difference. She kind of wants to keep watching it, to see if she can figure it out, but-- well. That'd just be putting things off. He seems fine, anyway. She's just getting caught up in worrying over nothing, Sheena decides, as she turns back to face him.

"You don't seem surprised, so I guess you called me here, right?" she starts, stretches her legs out in front of her. "Did... you need me for something?"

WE ALL DO

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sorry he got heavy on main

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anna /please/

he's dead, anna look another lloyd fucking died

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I LEAVE FOR A COUPLE DAYS AND YOU KILL LLOYD? AND AFTER THEIR NICE DATE? SMFH I'M TIMESKIPPING

COUNTDOWN TO GOD GATECRASHING BEGINS NOW

I'M EXCITED

SAME