i just wanna know: who broke it?

[summonerd]

[Sheena'd thought she was all done with dimensional travel, now that the two worlds were united. But here she is, having fallen asleep in one world and woken up in a Tethe'alla that's just different enough from the one she knows to be constantly jarring. Her connections to Aselia's summon spirits dangle loose, snapped by distance - not even Origin's power could follow her here, it seems. That's more than a little unsettling.

It takes her some time, alone in a bizarro version of Meltokio as she is, but eventually she stumbles on a lead - an old scientific journal, a mention of the power of something called an Aegis being able to transcend space and time, at least in theory. And a little asking around tells her that Tethe'alla has its own Aegis, though no one's seen it for years. Well. Worth a shot, right?

Somehow she manages to talk her way into the Tethe'allan castle where the Aegis's core crystal awaits being woken up, with a series of smiles and her very best politicking - yes, of course she's got nothing but loyalty for Tethe'alla, of course she's skilled at this, of course it'd be a great honor.

(Zelos would be proud, she thinks, wryly.)

They're dubious, but her persistence wears them down, or maybe they're just desperate enough for a return of the Aegis's power to let her try, and the orange core crystal is offered out to her.

She takes a deep breath, and reaches out to touch it.]

Comments

TIMESKIP HEAVEN NOW??

[aurions]

He almost doesn't, but finally Kratos does return to where he left Malos and Anna and the rest. The sun has set, the moons are high in the sky, the stars shining brightly. They've set up camp, in his absence. Likely Malos told them all not to hold their breaths waiting for him. Or maybe Malos had more faith in him than that.

(He's not sure which is more comforting, if either is more comforting. It's hard to think about Malos at length, because then the five-year-deep wound he's trying to ignore just starts hurting again.)

Everyone's sleeping, when he arrives. The Aegis and his driver are near each other, no surprise. Nia's stuck around for now, though after the healing job she did earlier, that should be expected as well. Malos and Anna are asleep near each other, of course they are, they always are. (Seeing Anna, alive, peaceful, like this is any other day and nothing's changed, opens that wound again. He tries not to think about it.) (...Maybe he should have gone ahead to save Martel alone. Then he could unpack things with Anna, later-- But saving Martel as an excuse to avoid his wife feels wrong.)

Actually, there is one person awake. The Lloyd-who-is-not-his-Lloyd. Kratos scowls before he can help it, worried for the boy's health, but then it occurs to him someone had to take first watch.

Kratos makes eye contact with the boy from across the camp, suddenly nervous. Lloyd hasn't exactly seen the best of him so far, has he? It would probably be too presumptious to approach Lloyd, but it also does not sit well in Kratos' stomach to say nothing at all, so:

"If you are only awake becuase you're keeping watch, I'll gladly take over for you," Kratos offers. (He knows his own mind, and knows if he attempts to sleep it will not be peaceful, so better to not try tonight. He does not really wish to sleep before he gets the chance to talk to Anna, anyway.)

Also...

"And I am sorry, for earlier," Kratos says. He believes his anger was justified, but throwing a tantrum does not exactly make a good first impression, and Lloyd was right, saying that Kratos could have easily taken his anger elsewhere. That he regrets, if nothing else.

TIMESKIP HEAVEN NOW

[risingfalcon]

The sky is beautiful tonight.

Leaning back against a tree trunk leading further down the path to where the camp sits, Lloyd stares up at the night time sky, swords at the ready by his side, arms pulled up behind his head, pillowing it. His jacket unbuttoned, Lloyd takes the time to appreciate the warm breeze that flows through his hair. He's kinda lonely, to be honest - at some point, he's gotten used to staying up with Malos or Zelos when he does stay up, but he's well aware the alone time would probably do better for him than ignoring everything in favor of talking bout stupid shit.

After all, what a fucking day they've had.

With a quiet sigh, Lloyd pulls his arms away from behind his head and grabs the wood block and carving tools inside his jacket pockets, intent on continuing his mini-project best he can.

Zelos' sword is a son of a bitch to carve, and Lloyd's really hoping his memories of it won't fail him here. There's a groove right here, in the center of the blade - the pommel looks like this, right? And the shoulders are barely connected to the handle, so the weight of the wooden blocks has to be balanced. It's easy to get lost in the movements, so Lloyd tunes up his hearing, paying close attention to any noise that could be suspicious in the meantime. It's here where he starts to think about the events that had transpired over the past few hours, the same ones that left his entire group battered and tired.

Lloyd glances over at Malos and Anna, and then Sheena and Zelos. Both pairs are obvious in their exhaustion, in the way they sleep deeply, and in Anna's case, he hasn't seen her conscious in hours. Concern sets itself in Lloyd's gut, but he ignores it. She's alright, she'll be fine, Zelos saved her. He'll have to thank him for that, really. Zelos saved all of them today.

His ether high crosses into his mind and he sighs again, upset that he had been so useless when everyone else needed help. It was a shitty feeling, and he's still not quite sure what triggered it aside from just the angel transformation. But he had been doing fine before the cannon…?

Whatever. Lloyd hears a sound from his eight o'clock and snaps to attention, dropping the tools and wrapping his hand around the pommel of one of his swords. This world's Kratos slowly walks out of the shadows of the forest, so Lloyd quietly lowers his hand back down again, keeping an eye on him but willing to let him sit back down without interruption. Malos had told them he might come back, and if Malos trust this Kratos, Lloyd will too. For this, at least.

Kratos lifts his head and they make eye contact. Lloyd breaks it.

(Eventually, he thinks. Eventually, Lloyd will be able to trust him. But not right now, and he feels guilty at how he's judging this Kratos, but. But.)

Kratos talks to him. Getting used to actually hearing his voice anywhere other than in his memories will take a bit, Lloyd discovers, given the way he blinks at being talked to directly, but he does pay attention. The idea of giving up watch in favor of sleeping is laughably bad, in Lloyd's opinion, but Kratos wouldn't know the extent of his issues. So he just shakes his head, sends him a civil, closed-mouth smile in responds.

"Nah, I'm alright. Wouldn't sleep well tonight anyways," he clears his throat a little, content on leaving it at that, but. There's a note of concern in Kratos' voice, and it's so reminiscent of the few times his own Kratos would talk to him when he couldn't sleep, and the words drag themselves from his throat. "Thanks, though. I appreciate the offer."

Lloyd pauses when Kratos apologizes, averting his gaze to the half-carved block in his hands. Guilt eats up at any remaining anger because Lloyd really did yell at someone who was having a noticeably terrible time. Of course Kratos would be distressed, Martel and Colette are in those cannons. Hell, even Lloyd is distressed about it, and he's not even from this world, but that's Colette -

Don't think about it, Lloyd. Nothing you can do from here, as weak as you are. Focus on the situation on hand.

"It's… fine. Apologize to Zelos, not me. Sorry I yelled at you like I did," Lloyd replies, stubbornly refusing eye contact. "You were hurting. I could have been nicer about it."

Silence reigns for a few moments, before Lloyd opens his mouth again. If they're gonna travel together, he might as well make sure Kratos knows what boundaries not to cross. "And, uh. You didn't know, so it's - whatever. But don't use the word 'cannon' around Zelos. Don't directly mention it at all, if you can avoid it. It freaks him out and sends him spiraling."

[aurions]

Lloyd says he likely wouldn't sleep well tonight, and Kratos laughs, lightly. He's still concerned, knowing that humans need more sleep than blades, but... he needs more sleep than blades, too, so it looks like he and Lloyd are just going to make bad decisions together. "Of course," he says, in response to Lloyd's thanks. "Likely, I will not be sleeping tonight either, so it only made sense."

He finds himself watching Lloyd as he sits, watching his-son-who-is-not-his-son, starved to know how the boy has grown. (Where is his Lloyd, he wonders. Just another question to ask Anna, when she wakes.) (He tries to push down his anger. Now is not the place for it.) It's strange, to see so much of himself in the boy, and so much of Anna. Stranger still, that there's someone else under those layers, someone else who helped shape his child, someone in the way he phrases his words, someone that Kratos does not recognize. Kratos tries not to think about it. What Lloyd's saying is more important.

Apologizing to Zelos is next on the agenda, when Zelos is awake, but insisting he had already planned on that will just make him look like a tool, so Kratos merely hums in agreement. Then, Lloyd's not looking to see it, but Kratos shakes his head when Lloyd apologizes. "It's quite alright," he says. "It is difficult to be kind when you're upset. I do not blame you."

And then Lloyd mentions the thing about cannons, and Kratos squeezes his eyes shut, despair roaring briefly in his core. What has Zelos been through, that the word alone...?

"Noted," Kratos whispers, though it's hard to find his voice amidst his horror. "I'll be more careful, in the future. Thank you. For telling me."

[risingfalcon]

Breathing out a quiet, "no problem," Lloyd fights the way the quiet makes him anxious. Mindlessly, he begins bouncing his leg, unused to being with this Kratos at all, let alone by themselves. He grips his carving tools again, begins whittling down the thick base of the wooden blocks where the blade will be carved, and tries to ignore the way the silence wraps around the both of them, less awkward and more hesitant, tense. It's annoyingly present, and it's setting Lloyd more on edge than he'd like to be.

He needs to break this silence or he will go mad.

"I, uh. I'm from an alternate dimension," Lloyd says, desperate for some sort of subject change that doesn't revolve around any of the horrors of the day. "In case you were wondering. Malos and Anna didn't know how I was here when the Lloyd in this world is only eight."

There's a moment where Lloyd wonders what happened that made this Kratos leave his Lloyd - was it like Anna, where she made the choice to? But why weren't Anna and Kratos together to begin with? Nothing seems to much match up, and it's not Lloyd's business to know, but his heart goes out to this world's reflection of him. Even with Dirk being the fucking best dad he could have asked for, knowing you were left behind by your parents is always tough. At least he had the closure of knowing his mom didn't have a choice in leaving him…

(Don't think about your Kratos.)

Lloyd sighs quietly again, and puts down a whittling tool in favor of a sheet of sandpaper, rubbing it down the side of the block, smoothing out some rough edges. "Also explains how I was in Meltokio when this world's me is in Iselia," he mutters, the same sort of depressive weight hanging on his shoulders as it always is when he thinks about his parents. He shakes his head, forces another small smile onto his face, and finally looks back up at Kratos. "Nice to meet you. Sad it wasn't under better circumstances, though."

[aurions]

Kratos should reply with a nice to meet you, or comment on the alternate dimension thing, either of those; but he hears Lloyd say this world's me is in Iselia and forgets everything else, voice lodged in his throat. He fumbles for a second, finally managing to get out: "What's he doing in Iselia!? Has he been there this whole time? Did Anna know--"

Stop, stop, stop. That's not fair to Lloyd. Kratos bites down his anger, and since in the height of the moment he'd turned his whole body to face Lloyd completely, he swings his body back. Doesn't look at Lloyd. Tries to breathe. Once he's pretty sure his voice is going to come out normal (which takes some time) he speaks.

"Sorry. It's not you I'm mad at." Take a deep breath again, Kratos, just in case. He tightens his hands, fists pressed into his knees. "I just." He's not quite sure what to say. He laughs, bitter, short and helpless. "I cannot believe my son is alive and no one thought to tell me. Five years, and I could have been with him this whole time...."

(If Anna were not clearly sleeping off an injury, he would have woken her by now to ask, because honestly? What the fuck.)

[risingfalcon]

Lloyd flinches at Kratos' sudden angry tone, a desperate need to flee flashing through his instincts, and he be begins to lean away, deciding to fly instead of fight this time. By the time Kratos controls himself, Lloyd's scooped up his tools and shoved them back into his pockets. It's irrational, getting this set-off by Kratos, but.

Lloyd supposes he never did see his father get this vehemently angry before, huh. (He wonders what his father was like, really, without the weight of Cruxis and everything else on his shoulders. Lloyd wishes he was worth sticking around for.)

And then Kratos is explaining himself, the sudden surge of fury, and - something resembling confusion and horrified realization mix in Lloyd's mind, as he realizes just why this Kratos hasn't seen Lloyd.

"Y-you thought I - he was dead?" Lloyd asks, eyes widening as he puts a gloved hand to his forehead, breathing out a shaky laugh. "God, Anna, you fucked it. You fucked it so bad."

Dragging his hand down his face, he turns to face Kratos, looking as upset as Lloyd feels. Five fucking years without his parents, huh? One of which, at least, who had no idea he was alive. Who would have wanted him.

(The fact that this world's Kratos wants to be with his son doesn't escape Lloyd, and for a second, there is hurt. Hurt that his Kratos didn't want to stay with him. But then he remembers this world's Lloyd is bright, young and innocent and not his uncle's killer. And he remembers why he doesn't deserve to feel hurt.)

"Iselia is where I was raised," Lloyd says, instead of dwelling on that more. "Anna doesn't actually know where he is - I say Iselia because this world is a pretty weirdly specific reflection of mine, and… yeah. But it's still just my bet on where he'd be."

He scoffs. All of the ways he's forgiven Anna for leaving her Lloyd seem to have corroded with this new information. This world's Lloyd could have been raised by his father, who wanted him, but she denied him that. "She doesn't know where her son is, and she didn't tell you he was alive. Great track record there, ma."

kratos gets heav(ier) on main

[aurions2]

Kratos puts his head in his hands and doesn't move for a long moment, trying to wrestle down all of his anger and hurt, you don't need to unpack it now with Lloyd, that's not fair to him, even if he seems happy to do it. Breathe, Kratos. Just breathe. When he lifts his head from his hands again, his eyes fall on Anna, and he very delibrately turns away from her, angling his body so he doesn't have to see her. Architect, this is a nightmare. He should be happy she's alive, and yet...

"Of course I thought he was dead," Kratos says, just so he can talk about something else, something that's... still complicated, but at least doesn't scare him as much. "I thought- thought Anna was dead, too."

(Saying her name still hurts, grief that hasn't healed eating at his soul. She's alive so it should all be fine but wounds like that do not simply go away. And even if she is not dead to grieve, there remains shattered pieces of a once-healthy relationship and-- maybe it's too soon, to call that dead. He wants to talk to her. He's terrified of talking to her. Terrified of what they had changing but it's already changed, hasn't it? He's in a boat with no way to steer, just letting the rapids carry him ever towards an impending, unavoidable drop.

Needing to save Martel doesn't scare him nearly as much as the conversation he needs to have with Anna.)

"There was... an incident, five years back. Her town was obliterated. Hit by a cannon." Kratos swallows. Stares at trembling hands. "You don't... survive that. I suppose she and Lloyd must not have been in town at the time, but. I didn't think to look. I assumed if they were alive, she would have told me."

She didn't tell him. Why didn't she tell him?

Kratos realizes himself, abruptly. Why did he bother saying all that? He wishes he were literally anywhere else right now, the consequences of this conversation and the weight of the conversation he's waiting for too much to bear. Maybe he should just go--

(Running away from your problems, again? Anna's voice scolds, in the back of his mind, and well what were YOU doing he shoots back at it, furious.)

"Sorry," he says, belatedly, to Lloyd. "Sorry I. Suppose you didn't need to know all that."

He squeezes his hands together, tight. Changes the subject. "I hope you're right. I hope Lloyd is in Iselia. I hope he's safe."

listen he's valid, lloyd's in a perpetual state of anger

[risingfalcon]

Lloyd listens silently as Kratos explains his reasoning on why he thought Anna and his Lloyd were dead for the past five years, and from what Lloyd knows about this world, it all checks out. There's a moment where he's left wondering about the survival rates of being hit by a cannon, but then he thinks about how the warning shot fucked them up from inside the mines, and thinks yeah, there's no way someone could survive that.

Until he remembers something. A simple, friendly spar turned PTSD trigger, Malos struggling to keep himself together in the face of Zelos's fiery orange ether. It's not his fault, Malos had said, and Zelos is an Aegis, used to power…

Oh.

Oh.

Lloyd is going to set fire to the whole of Tethe'alla's government.

The realizations that Anna and Malos had been hit by the cannon, at least semi-directly enough to be traumatized by it, and that Zelos had been used to power the shot, wrack through Lloyd's mind. Anna's entire village had been obliterated, apparently, but they still survived. It's not even like Lloyd can do anything with this knowledge right now, given that every associated party is asleep. What the fuck is this world even.

"No, no," Lloyd says, looking away, squinting into the forest in thought. "You're alright, I… I don't know how they survived it, but. I can guarantee Anna and Malos were caught in that cannon blast. If I were to guess, the ether overuse scars have something to do with it?"

He does look back at Kratos, though, face softening up into something akin to understanding and sympathy. "I believe you. That you would have looked for them had you known. Cannon hit or not, Anna should have told you," he pauses, scoffing again. "Should have at least found her fucking son."

And then Lloyd hesitates, because bringing up his adoptive father around his alternate dimension's self's real one may be a little awkward, but he decides to go for it anyways. "If it makes you feel any better, if he's in Iselia, he's definitely with Dirk, who's my adoptive father in my world. He's the best, honestly. Your son's in good hands."

Not knowing how else to comfort this Kratos (or any Kratos, really. Not like he ever got too close to his), Lloyd hesitates before bringing his hand up to place on Kratos' shoulder.

[aurions]

Kratos squints in confusion at Lloyd as he claims Anna just survived an Aegis cannon blast, then turns to look at his wife before he can think better of it, eyes tracing the spiderweb of scars that trail up her right arm. "That's..." impossible, but he doesn't finish, figuring that if Lloyd had a clearer answer Lloyd would have told him, so he swallows his astonishment and confusion instead. It's just another question he'll have to ask Anna. He turns away from her again.

(He could probably piece it together if he thought about it, but he doesn't want to think about it right now. Thinking about her making his core hurt.)

...knowing that his Lloyd is with Dirk is a small comfort. He knows Dirk, vaguely. Not someone he spent a lot of time with, but someone he knows Anna trusts, and that's better than a stranger. And Lloyd speaks highly him. That's also something. It's still hard to trust a human with his son, trust that Dirk even still has his son when no one-- Not even Anna!-- knows for certain, but--

His thoughts are derailed as Lloyd moves to touch him.

His reflexes are quick, though, and maybe it startles Lloyd, but twisting and catching Lloyd by the wrist before Lloyd's hand meets his shoulder is still the safer outcome, Kratos thinks. If he's in control of the situation, he isn't going to spiral. He takes a slow breath. Pushes Lloyd's hand away. Lets go.

"Please do not touch me without my consent," he requests, quietly. "It's... nothing against you, I promise. It's just." The line between being honest about his boundaries without being totally bare about his trauma is still one he finds difficult to navigate. "Triggers bad memories, sometimes, if I am not expecting it," he settles on. He sends Lloyd a tired smile, mustering all the gentleness he has in him (easy enough, for his son). "You didn't know, so I am not upset, but... please ask first, next time."

That taken care of, he tries to put his thoughts about everything else into words.

"Thank you for telling me about Dirk," he says, still quiet. "I still hope you are correct, about my son being with him, but... At least that is a name I know."

[risingfalcon]

Cold panic stabs at his core as soon as Kratos grabs his wrist and twists, an instinctual flinch causing him to bite his tongue. It's - it's so irrational, the fear that grips at Lloyd's heart, because on one hand, he'd rather Kratos be honest about it, about his triggers and touch aversion, and the guy looks so softhearted about this it makes Lloyd feel bad, conscious of how his pulse spikes. But on the other hand…

Damn it, get your shit together, Lloyd. Quietly taking a deep breath and rolling his now-free wrist, Lloyd scoots away just a little more, needing the distance now. It's embarrassing. This is embarrassing. "Yeah, I understand. Noted, Captain," he jokes, forcing his gaze up to the stars. This isn't his world, this isn't his Kratos. Kratos was just - trying to keep controlled. And Lloyd understands, doesn't blame him, would rather this happen than didn't, but.

Whatever.

"Dirk's a real good guy. Taught me all I know," Lloyd continues, but his heart's not in it. He keeps thinking about fighting his other father, the one who decided to forego their standard sword-fighting to pull him by the wrist into a melee combo that landed him with a concussion and three cracked ribs. Will Lloyd ever be able to put their fucked up relationship to rest?

How is he supposed to deal with the sudden realization that he's scared of his father?

[aurions2]

Kratos goes silent, watching Lloyd closely. It's easy enough to tell that Lloyd's mood has just nose-dived.

"It... really is alright, Lloyd," he says, slowly. "I'm not upset..."

But then he really notices Lloyd's movements, the way Lloyd scoots away from him, the way Lloyd rolls his wrist. Eye-catching, because Kratos has done it before himself. A reminder that he is free to move as he pleases... Oh.

Oh.

"I'm sorry for grabbing you suddenly," Kratos says, swallowing around the cold lump of despair in his throat. Of course, he had no way of knowing, but he still feels terrible. "I will do my best to avoid that in the future."

And... he feels bad, putting Lloyd on the spot, but if there's anything Anna has taught him, it's that it's better to be as clear as possible as soon as possible what is and isn't allowed.

"Is it touching that's a problem, or grabbing? Though I will avoid both, if you need me to. And if you are uncomfortable answering, that is alright, but... I do not wish to hurt you, especially not because I am ignorant of your boundaries."

[risingfalcon]

Lloyd laughs anxiously, dropping his wrist and casting a flickering glance at Kratos, no less calmed down by desperately attempting to keep face. "Ahaha, nah, you're fine. It's - it's a new thing. You couldn't have known, even if it wasn't, but -"

Clearing his throat, Lloyd averts his eyes again, pulling out his tools for the nth time so he can have an excuse to look away and calm himself down. "It's, uh. I got into a bad fight with someone stronger than me," an angel with four thousand years of fighting experience, also his father, "and they, um." He pauses, bites at his lip, and begins carving out of the corner of the block. "They got me pretty good, heh."

The breath of air he releases could barely count as a laugh, but he'll take it anyways. He forces a fake grin to his face, trying to make the air lighter even though it's crushing him where he sits. He can't tell the truth, but he can't lie, either. "Grabs get me. Sudden grabs, I guess. But I'm alright. I just gotta learn to deal with it. Thanks, though, for the consideration," and he turns to look at Kratos again, offers him a smaller, a little more sincere smile. "I appreciate it."

boundaries are just important to him okay

[aurions2]

Kratos regrets asking, a little, if only for how nervous Lloyd is. He also regrets forgetting to clarify that he did not need a reason why, just what to avoid, but it's too late now, isn't it? He hopes he just has not made it worse by making Lloyd feel like he needed to recount his trauma. Lloyd's answer is clearly dodgey, like perhaps he doesn't want to think about it, but-- Honestly. Why would he?

But then Lloyd says he's just gotta learn to deal with it with a tone like haha silly me for getting freaked out and Kratos recoils, shaking his head a little in surprise. Sorry, what? What? That's-- no. No. Kratos knows he has compromised where he shouldn't have, before, (but sometimes Mithos needs the touch to ground him, and Kratos knows he is safe with Mithos even if his body likes to act like he isn't), but compromising occasionally is different than "learning to deal with it" in general. You don't just. You can't just. You can't just make physical responses to triggers stop. You cannot simply will them away. You can learn to cope with the spiral, after, yes, but.

If you don't like being touched certain ways you don't like being touched certain ways, end of story.

It occurs to Kratos maybe he should say some of this aloud.

But Lloyd looks like he wants to be done with this conversation, wants to be thinking about something else-- No. No. This is important. Kratos runs over his thoughts again, trying to figure out how to articulate them. When he doesn't know Lloyd very well. When he's getting the vibe that Lloyd doesn't want to talk to him.

(Anna would probably be better at this. She, at least, has no fears.)

Still. It's important.

"Lloyd..." he says, gently, slowly, heart lodged somewhere in his throat. Stupid thing. "If... If you don't like being grabbed... especially if it triggers something bad in you... That's nothing to be ashamed of." He hesitates, still chewing on his words. "You don't have to- You don't need to be..." He fumbles, scowling as the words elude him. He's silent for another moment or two, as he tries to navigate to the end of what he wants to say, figure out how to get there, and then put all that into words. He digs into his memories, trying to recall how Anna might say it.

Finally: "If you don't like being grabbed, you don't like being grabbed, end of discussion," Kratos says. "And if you don't like being grabbed, telling people that you don't like it so that they won't do it is the right course of action. And... in the event that someone grabs you anyway, you are not responsible when it makes you feel like shit. They are, for crossing a boundary they should not have."

blade kratos best kratos??? i adore him

[risingfalcon]

Taking a few moments to process the advice Kratos gives Lloyd, he takes another deep breath, pausing in his carving. It's amazing. He's been around this Kratos for all of six hours, yet this conversation is as emotionally vulnerable as the deepest conversation Lloyd had with his own Kratos. Differences in universes will do that, Lloyd guesses, staring at the block in his hand.

But then guilt sets in. This Kratos is being so open, so nice about this, like he has any reason to care, and all Lloyd can really think about is his negative experiences with his doppelganger. And - and now Kratos thinks he's just aversed to being grabbed, when the source of the fear is different, it's him, even though Lloyd shouldn't mind it -

He returns to carving, needing to deal with the anxious energy pumping through his veins. Isn't this what he wanted? Open dialogue with his father? What's his fucking problem?

"Yeah," Lloyd breathes out, hating how hard this is, how he wishes Kratos would stop looking at him because Lloyd can't find the will to look back, "yeah. I understand. Triggers are a bitch and people sympathize. I'm usually better about this, I just - I was surprised, is all. Not a big deal, really."

Lloyd grabs the square of sandpaper and starts smoothing down rough edges on central design of the center flat of the Aegis blade, silently thanking Malos again for giving him these tools. "I'll be open about it from here on out. Scout's honor!"

But the tension still lingers, and Lloyd hates it, hates how it makes him squirm a little, so he stops again, finally looking up at Kratos. "Thanks, again. And - uh. If you need my help, tell me and I'll try to. Help, that is."

MOOD!!!!

[aurions]

Kratos frowns a little with concern, watching as Lloyd still tries to downplay this, but... Oh well. He'll let it go, for now. He's only known this Lloyd for a few minutes, so maybe this is all he could really expect from the conversation. And Lloyd did promise to be more open, in the future, so that's something.

Kratos just isn't sure Lloyd understands that things like this are, in fact, very reasonably a big deal and that saddens him.

Something to worry about if it ever comes up again, he supposes.

Lloyd's clearly uncomfortable, anyway. Better to wrap this up.

"Thank you for the offer," he tells Lloyd, genuinely appreciating it, though he wishes Lloyd would not offer something he sounds uncomfortable giving. (Then again, you're one to talk, Kratos, so.) "I will let you know."

After that, he hesitates. A part of him wonders if it would be good to give Lloyd some space, but then he did, technically, promise Malos he'd keep watch. Yes, Lloyd is awake, but Kratos doubts he's in any position to actually defend the camp alone, so it will probably be better if Kratos stays put. Now it's just a matter of finding something to distract himself with, becuase if he sits here in silence he's just going to start thinking about Anna, again.

He pulls out his bag and starts rummaging through it, first taking count of the core crystals he'd gathered, earlier. They're all still dormant, seven total, though one is cracked and one has been shattered completely. ...Kratos tries not to think about that one. Not much to do with the core crystals, though, so instead Kratos pulls out his journal. Not that he's certain what he's going to write, if he's going to write at all. But. It makes him look busy. And it gives himself the option, if he wants it.

Journal open in his lap, Kratos looks up to watch the stars.

[Arrives four days later with an Aegis] What's up bitches

[presidentheartbeat]

Waking up greets him to a proper night sky above, one that's much more filled in and brighter than whatever bastardization Zelos' brain had tried to cook up during that dream only to miserably fail. Zelos takes another deep breath, blinks to rid himself of any grogginess remaining from what feels like several hours of sleep. He checks his ether levels--back to 94%, at least. That's much better. Then, after all that, he slowly sits up and tries to look around for any hints of where they are, who's awake, and where his driver lies.

Anna and Malos aren't too far from each other--typical, Zelos thinks, and practical, so he'll give them that. Sheena's still curled up in her sleep, close enough to him for Zelos to theorize that maybe the dream port picked up on her immediately and pulled her in. It's not the best theory, nor is it the most comforting, but it's a theory and an explanation, and until something better presents itself Zelos will take it. Zelos watches her for a few more seconds until he's sure that she will not wake up, then sighs as a wave of nervousness washes over him and settles at the pit of his stomach like ice water at the sight of his sleeping driver. Then her words come crashing against him like ocean waves in a storm. The Aegis is consumed with a desire to push away, to pull himself as far away from her as possible, even if temporarily. It's... overwhelming. So as carefully as possible Zelos pushes himself further up, standing, and pings around the area for any ether signals.

There's two signals coming from further away from the camp, and a quick look later Zelos catches sight of Lloyd and That Guy keeping watch somewhere off to the side, both quiet and thoroughly awkward. Zelos can't help the dark chuckle that escapes his lips; so, in the span of however long he's been asleep, these people have deemed a random and volatile blade they encountered in a mine to be trustworthy enough to keep around and given him the task of watching over their group while they're at their most vulnerable. That doesn't sit right with him, actually. At all. And a quick look at him tells Zelos that the blade is doing something with his hands, and even if he cannot tell what exactly, Zelos thinks it's got something to do with those core crystals from earlier.

Not good, not good.

Who the hell is this guy? Where did he come from? What the fuck does he want? The lack of information is making him anxious. Confused, alert, and badly wanting answers, Zelos paints a grin on his face and walks over to the duo, taking note of the ether in the air and the ways he could weaponize it just in case--94% ether in his system is just about enough to act quick enough to defend himself should he need it. Still, he keeps himself as non-threatening as possible to not give it away, his gait confident but clumsy to sell the image of a sleepy Aegis, his eyelids halfway down.

Zelos makes his steps as loud as possible for the both of them, then throws his arms up and yawns dramatically when he's seen, throwing his hair back over his shoulder once that's done. "Architect, how long was I out? My back's so fucked up!" Zelos says, all smiles and friendliness and jokes. He sets one hand on his hip and leans his entire weight on one foot, appearing casual. "Good morning!"

god lloyd /immediately/ perked up. honey

[risingfalcon]

Lloyd jumps a little as soon as Zelos' voice rings into the clearing, having heard his steps but somehow not having been able to register them past the fog of bullshit he's been forced to think about. God, he's so out of it and he's not even high this time. He really does wish he could sleep.

Still, he shoves the carving into his pocket quickly and stands, turning around to face Zelos, and eyes him up and down quickly, checking for anything worrying. "Hey, Zelos!" Lloyd greets, the smile coming to his face genuine and excited, all things considered. "How are you doing, man? We were worried about you."

Something about the way Zelos is acting strikes Lloyd as fake, or. He doesn't know. There's a certain attitude to his movements and dramaticized motions that seems like an act, seems similar to the way his Zelos used to lay the masks on thick enough to trick all of them, Lloyd included. Not quite understanding why Zelos was relying on it here, but not willing to call him out on it, he files the information away for later.

(Lloyd refuses to think about how Zelos had dropped the mask the one time Lloyd had decided to harden his own heart.)

"You've been out for only a few hours," Lloyd answers, brushing some of his fringe out of his eyes. To be completely honest, he's very happy somebody came in and broke the awkward silence between him and Kratos. "You sure you're feeling well enough to be up and about already? You definitely saved our asses there, so nobody will complain if you wanna keep resting."

I love him so much

[presidentheartbeat]

Whatever Lloyd's doing with his hands is comletely lost to Zelos, seeing how his eyes are glued to the core crystals that That Guy is holding. Suspicious, suspicious. Paranoid and seeking answers Zelos watches him intently, takes in everything about this guy that he can; the way his ether shines, though not as brightly as he knows it could. The way his ether shapes the ambient ether in a sickly manner, human-like, but seemingly diseased. His body language and the way he looks like he's having the worst time of his life. His energy in the mines.

All that combined and Zelos is pretty sure he's dealing with a flesh eater. That'd explain the lack of a driver, even if some blades can be pretty far apart from their drivers, but the way his ether feels would beg to differ in the first place. But why would a flesh eater be in the caves? And at the exact moment of the cannon's fire, when he claims to know the Aegis powering it herself?

Hmm.

Though the Aegis' full attention lies on the red flesh eater right now, he still makes some time to regard Lloyd with a smile when he's addressed. "Aw, please, Lloyd. I've been asleep for hours! I'm pretty sure that if I have to keep sleeping I'm gonna explode or something," he jokes, chuckling and flapping a hand about to sell it. "Besides," he adds, turning back to Kratos with a tight grin, "I wanna get to know this guy over here, since apparently he's with us now. Finally decided to take us along?"

lloyd's a good boy!!!!

[aurions]

To say Kratos is nervous would be an understatement. But, the Aegis is right to have questions for him, and running away from his problems isn't going to solve them. So Kratos breathes, slowly, to center himself before he answers the question asked.

"Yes, well," he says. He hesitates a second there, because half the reason he's still here is because Malos asked it of him, because Anna is alive, because even though he is upset he does not want to leave her, does not want to lose her a second time. But thinking about Anna stirs discomfort in his core, and if he speaks about her he doesn't think it's going to come out even close to neutrally, so likely he should save Zelos from that nonsense. Zelos probably doesn't care that he married a human woman, anyway. In fact, if Zelos has been hurt in the way Aegises tend to be, he might even think lesser of Kratos for it.

So: "I would not be that much faster, on my own," Kratos says, instead. "And my energy would likely be better spent defending you from Tethe'alla. The most I could do is save Martel from a few days of pain, but it will still be weeks before we reach her. Hopefully she will not begrudge me the difference." He remembers what Zelos said, earlier, and ammends: "If... if Martel is even involved, anyway. I suppose we won't know until we get there."

(Or not until he asks Mithos, but, he keeps Mithos' name quiet, out of habit. Mithos would rather the world forgot he existed.)

More importantly than all that.

"Forgive me for my actions, earlier," Kratos says, carefully, meeting Zelos' eyes. "I could not stand the thought that they were hurting Martel, but that does not mean I had any right to take it out on you. I am sorry."

Oh god Kratos I'm fucked up

[presidentheartbeat]

To be honest, Zelos isn't expecting the apology at all, and so to suddenly receive it while making direct eye contact catches the Aegis off-guard and throws him off for a precious second. His mask falters before he picks it back up again, a little grin and a chuckle covering for the previously vulnerable surprise that had been on his expression before. "Ahaha, aw, come on. I'm pretty sure everyone had a shit day! It's fine, it's fine!"

Architect, is everyone he meets going to be a weirdo like this that doesn't follow normal social conventions and just throws him off on a loop? Zelos isn't so sure he'll be able to handle five people like this, now, but whatever. Zelos shrugs. There's more important things to do right now. This Guy proclaims he'd rather defend the Aegis from Tethe'alla and save that other blade--Martel--from being used in the cannon, and unconsciously Zelos' stance relaxes just a little. A blade mostly siding with blades is always a good sign, even moreso for a flesh eater.

Because Zelos isn't stupid. He knows what being a flesh eater implies for the majority of the victims.

A flesh eater siding with humans would be downright monstrous.

Still, despite the evidence pointing towards This Guy being a good gamble, there's a lot of things that won't fully allow Zelos to completely relax around him--ergo, he's a gamble. The way he sits close to Lloyd is reassuring, but the core crystals he keeps in his hands are not. His words and ideals align with Zelos', but the way he'd yelled and acted after the caves sparks uncertainty in Zelos' core.

So "Anyway, hey," Zelos says, calling out for Lloyd's attention again, definitely appearing a little more awake now than how he'd originally presented himself, "I think I've spent enough time hanging around doing nothing. I might as well make myself useful and take a walk around the perimeter to make sure the ether in the area's stable and quiet." The Aegis turns his attention to This Guy next, grinning. "Hey, you wanna walk with me? Two heads are better than one, and I don't wanna risk lil' Lloyd here after the mines. My bud should be resting."

i love these redheads so much

[risingfalcon]

For all the jokes he earns about being dumb, Lloyd certainly isn't stupid. He knows when someone is looking for privacy, and he's more than willing to give Zelos and Kratos an opening for it.

(There's a high pang in his heart, some cocktail of fear and hesitance that he's forced to drink in as soon as he remembers that his Zelos had been in communication with his Kratos for ages, pulling the blind over the party's eyes and waiting for the moment where they could pull off the tricks Cruxis demanded. Lloyd shakes his head. It's different this time. Cruxis doesn't exist, this Zelos isn't his own, Kratos is. Well, he doesn't know what to think of this Kratos, he just doesn't.)

Pushing the smile wider, Lloyd chuckles a bit, rubbing at the back of his neck, a little embarrassed. Zelos is correct to not rely on Lloyd for any kind of major fighting right now - even with the rest he's gotten from lazing about, and the healing from Nia earlier, his muscles ache and his body is sore. He's probably slower and would hold Zelos back in a fight. "Yeah, I just. Couldn't sleep. You know how I get," he says simply, dropping his arm to his side. "But uh, you guys get going then. Don't be too long? Be safe."

Lloyd waits until they leave, stuck with an intense amount of restless energy and too many thoughts to sit still for much longer, but he doesn't want to leave the campsite either, and simply pacing won't do the trick.

He looks up, eyes a tall tree that arches over the camp. Climbing a tree, huh? That'll do. Being close to the treetops will provide more light to finish the carving later, anyways. Lloyd will just deal with the repercussions later.

[aurions]

Kratos knows a request for his presence when he hears one, so he tells Zelos yes he will come with, and then sets about returning his things to his bag as Lloyd speaks. There's no reason to take the bag with him, so he leaves it where he was sitting, getting to his feet. He gestures for Zelos to lead the way and then follows.

Zelos probably wants to ask him another question, but Kratos isn't exactly in a hurry to find out what it is, and has no idea what to talk about otherwise, so he just waits for Zelos to say something.

[presidentheartbeat]

A few minutes into their walk, finally far away from Lloyd that Zelos is pretty sure he won't hear, and, okay, this is starting to become awkward. This Guy is as silent as a fucking rock, no pun intended, and it's driving Zelos up the wall a little. He wants information badly but has no idea how to go about getting it. And the fact that This Guy left his bag doesn't escape Zelos either, and now without something to segue into what he wants to ask, Zelos does't really know how to start talking. Architect, he's supposed to be good at words. Why does that ability suddenly fail him when the person he wants to talk to is a fucking brick wall?

Well, he thinks after yet another false start, might as well just go for it, right? Fuck it.

"First things first, then," Zelos suddenly says, turning to look at This Guy with a grin on his face, "I wanna know your name. 'Cause, like, I'm pretty sure you know exactly who I am by now. Second," the Aegis stops walking, squints, "what were you doing with those core crystals back then?"

[aurions]

"Oh," Kratos says, somewhat embarrassed. Of course Zelos doesn't know his name. They've only just met. "Sorry. It's Kratos."

He wonders if Zelos knows anything about him, has anything to attach to his name. Likely not. The humans wrote him out of their history.

And then Zelos asks about the core crystals.

"Ah," Kratos says. "Well, it seemed cruel to leave them in those caves, where it would be unlikely they would be found again," he answers. That, and nothing more. If Zelos wants to know what he intends on doing with them, Zelos will have to ask, though Kratos would really rather he didn't.

[presidentheartbeat]

Kratos. Kratos, Kratos, Kratos. For a moment the name rings a bell of familiarity in Zelos' subconscious, until the lines align and he remembers Anna insisting that she was trustworthy because she was married to some Kratos guy. Oh. Oh. So then their group has stumbled upon Anna's husband, huh? And her husband is a blade that she's not even driving?

Great. What does that give him. Absolutely nothing other than an update for the affinity chart in his brain, Zelos thinks.

"Aah," the Aegis nods. He shrugs. Starts walking again while tapping his chin, pacing around Kratos like an animal surrounding prey, slow enough for it to be inconspicuous. "You got any particular place you wanna take 'em, or something? Or maybe," he side-eyes Kratos while circling him, grin growing, "you wanna take 'em along for when you free Martel?"

The name 'Martel' is an obvious one for Zelos; she's Sylvarant's lost Aegis. The one that was killed in the war. That much information he does know, though how the fuck someone could put her in a cannon eludes him, especially with how he's pretty sure that the blade powering up the weapon itself is Colette. Zelos bites down a shudder. Maybe it's another blade named Martel? Maybe it's a codename for his sister, or a second name unknown to Tethe'alla?

Questions, questions.