i just wanna know: who broke it?

[summonerd]

[Sheena'd thought she was all done with dimensional travel, now that the two worlds were united. But here she is, having fallen asleep in one world and woken up in a Tethe'alla that's just different enough from the one she knows to be constantly jarring. Her connections to Aselia's summon spirits dangle loose, snapped by distance - not even Origin's power could follow her here, it seems. That's more than a little unsettling.

It takes her some time, alone in a bizarro version of Meltokio as she is, but eventually she stumbles on a lead - an old scientific journal, a mention of the power of something called an Aegis being able to transcend space and time, at least in theory. And a little asking around tells her that Tethe'alla has its own Aegis, though no one's seen it for years. Well. Worth a shot, right?

Somehow she manages to talk her way into the Tethe'allan castle where the Aegis's core crystal awaits being woken up, with a series of smiles and her very best politicking - yes, of course she's got nothing but loyalty for Tethe'alla, of course she's skilled at this, of course it'd be a great honor.

(Zelos would be proud, she thinks, wryly.)

They're dubious, but her persistence wears them down, or maybe they're just desperate enough for a return of the Aegis's power to let her try, and the orange core crystal is offered out to her.

She takes a deep breath, and reaches out to touch it.]

Comments

[presidentheartbeat]

Well, well, well, Lloyd takes Zelos' sword into his hands and just starts admiring it, and Zelos is inclined to just stand back, arms crossed, and observe. This is perhaps a little bit intoxicating, he finds. Because being complimented is always a delight for him, honestly, but for some reason having his sword complimented after literal years of disuse feels satisfying in a whole new way.

He's got a pleased and self-satisfied grin as Lloyd starts rambling about materials and examining the ether and all that stuff that Zelos understands in theory, since it's all very much stored in his circuitry and databases, but he can't really be assed to look further into. Still, of course the blade's cool; Zelos himself is cool, fire blade or not. He takes the compliments as if they were directed to himself. Hearing about ether and the many theories on the way it's conducted and utilized is fun, though, and with a tilt of his head Zelos lets out a thoughtful hum as he starts to consider whether or not the heat of his ether would harm his driver.

It's an interesting theory, at least. It's valid. He wouldn't go so far as to test it out, though. Hell no. But then Lloyd suggests Sheena just fucking put her hand on the ether, like it's not dangerous, like that's not his driver that Lloyd is endangering, and something instinctual snaps itself back into place and snatches the easy smile off Zelos' face as he hastily raises a hand and calls his sword back into it in a flash of orange light.

"Yeah, I don't think so, kid," Zelos laughs. It only takes a thought for the sword to close off the ether output, going into a passive state, and once it's not a danger to these irrational little humans anymore Zelos decides to be cheeky by smirking, tilting his head back, and throwing it over his shoulder, free hand on his hip. "Dunno how it is with your mana thing, or whatever, but here humans aren't made to be making direct contact with this shit."

[summonerd]

Sheena takes a step back once Lloyd's accepted the sword, just watching. She'd really just wanted to distract Zelos before he could make any more dirty jokes about the whole thing, but the way Lloyd's eyes light up as he turns his attention to the weapon is a nice bonus. It's been a while since he's been this intent on anything.

"He doesn't need any more of an inflated ego," she mutters to Lloyd, without much venom to it. And then he calls out to her, asking her to touch the ether, and, well -- it hadn't felt dangerous, really, while she'd been wielding it. She reaches out towards the tip of the flame, looking skeptical, just in time for Zelos to call the sword back to himself.

... okay, yeah, maybe that had been a terrible idea.

"You might have a point, actually," she admits, trying to play it off like she wasn't a couple inches from trying it anyway. "It didn't seem like it would have hurt, though."

[risingfalcon]

Lloyd pouts when Zelos calls back the blade, disappointed for the lost chance to test his hypothesis. Come on, Zelos, he’s like 95% sure he’s right and the ether won’t hurt her. Besides, it’s not like Sheena and Lloyd haven’t dared each other to do more stupidly dangerous things for the hell of it before, you know this -

Lloyd pauses in his distraction. This Zelos doesn’t know him. Don’t forget that. The pout on his face threatens to droop further into an actual frown as the excitement fades away and his alertness to where he is and who he’s with settles back in, but then - bright light flashes as the blade flickers back into Zelos’ hand, and the casual, confident pose he holds the blade in barely registers, because holy fuck the sword just! It just!

“Wait!” Lloyd breathes out, his mouth dropping open, “it just shifted! How did you do that - can I see it again?”

Now without the dangers of the ether flames in the way, the middle of the blade is properly exposed, and the sword gains a metallic shaft, one that’s sharpened into edges that glint off the moonlight and a precise tip that seems to relay a more accurate performance than the dangerous and volatile flames from earlier. The sword has two forms! And Lloyd can properly observe this one!

“This is so awesome,” he says, eyes wide, observing the blade from afar, amazement leaking into his voice. “It’s - I can feel it’s power from here, so it’s no less intimidating, but it’s more functional now, easier for regular carry... And the metal alloy is the same, but it’s so well molded to shift at needed... It’s a masterpiece of a blade.”

He’s itching to see it up close again, but he’s not going to ask for it back. It’s just so unique, so distinguished and powerful, but no less a beautiful artform at work. It’s swords like these that make Lloyd want to study smithery harder, determined to one day make something as special.

[presidentheartbeat]

Zelos snorts at his driver, raising an eyebrow at her while grinning. "Of course I have a point! Doesn't matter if it's controlled by a blade or not, ether is still dangerous to humans." He leans forward a little, mocking. "You ever hear about ether poisoning? It's not a fun condition, you know!"

He's about to say more, really, but then Lloyd claims his attention again, all excitement and loudness as he fidgets about staring at Zelos' sword, and Zelos' mouth shuts closed as he turns his head to look him up and down before breaking into a confident smirk. Lloyd's words of praise and compliments are mostly focusing on the whys and hows of the blade's function, but they still cascade over Zelos anyway, filling him up with pride at finally being recognized as the trophy that he is.

It's addictive, in a strange way. The urgent need to be wanted and needed that he'd shoved deep to the back of his conscious shifts into his frontal awareness after finally being fed after so, so long, and now he kind of wants to see if he can get any more of this praise just to satisfy an age-long need. The sword is a part of him, he tells himself, so it's only natural to claim whatever anyone says about the sword as his, too. That's all it is, that's his excuse.

That's all it is.

With another laugh Zelos lowers the sword from its current perch on his shoulder, eyes closed as his free hand reaches up to flip his hair back. "Well, it's about time someone with good taste showed up around here," he mutters, shifting his weight from one foot to another, opening his eyes and regarding Lloyd with a self-satisfied expression. His blade is in passive state, closed, so he guesses it won't be dangerous if he hands it over again, so Zelos shifts his grip on it to offer the handle back to Lloyd casually, nonchalantly, completing the look with a careless shrug. "Knock yourself out."

[risingfalcon]

Lloyd takes the blade back with a quiet exhale somewhat resembling a "hoh yeah!" excitement in his tone matching the pure delight that floods his features as soon as the hilt is back in his grip. Instead of swinging the sword again, Lloyd plops himself down on the ground, crossing his legs beneath him, and places the blade on his lap, leaning in close to the center of the middle flat of the blade and squinting his eyes, trying to catch every detail in the making of the blade.

Without the powerful ether flames to distract his eyes, Lloyd's able to spot the splits between the center blade and what previously connected to be shoulders, now metallic edges. The stones in the sword glow brightly, and Lloyd can feel the pulse of the ether stored within the blade against his legs, the power of the sword legitimately radiating out. This sword isn't as powerful as the Eternal Sword, Lloyd would guess, but if there is more than one Aegis blade in this world - (Colette never strays too far from his mind) - then Lloyd could see where their powerful legacy extends out from.

Tracing the grooves of the sword from the central crystal, up to the tang of the blade, where the two dagger-like edges meet up before the crossguard, Lloyd lets himself theorize. Okay, so this blade can shift through telepathic command, obviously, and unfortunately, no blacksmith could ever accurately replicate that. However, if one were to add sliding locks and plates into the area between the shoulders of the blade and the center flat, then maybe one could create a shifting mechanism that could be activated with the press of a pommel button, or a certain type of grip on the hilt. Lloyd wonders if you could replicate the ether flames by including some sort of fire system - not unlike a flamethrower - but decides to leave that idea at the drawing board.

Still, he thinks, finally leaning back from observing the blade, his smith's curiosity at least somewhat satisfied, it's a wonder of a sword on its own. He wonders what Malos' blade looks like, wonders how blade shapes and designs must change to account for their humanoid form and their abilities. This blade reminds him faintly of the Eternal Sword in a lot of ways, but while that sword couldn't really be explained past magic, this sword - it's got a real feeling to it. It's intricacies and details, they feel like they were created with a sense of careful design that Lloyd's seen in his adoptive dad's works.

(He also wants to see the pretty sword be swung around a lot!)

"I would love to see how this sword looks in battle," Lloyd says, finally looking up to Zelos with a grin. "It's nothing like I've ever seen before!"

[presidentheartbeat]

Y'know what the thing is about dealing with people from another universe? It's way too easy to forget that they're from an entire different universe in the first place, and with that, to forget that they have no idea what driver and blade etiquette is, or anything of the sort. Their obliviousness presents itself in many ways, such as needing to be taught about things simply inherent to this world, or their carefree attitude towards the way that things just are around here, or, most recently, in the way Lloyd just takes Zelos' sword and plops down on the floor with it right there on his lap like Zelos didn't just call it a part of himself earlier or anything.

Just like that.

What the fuck.

All the earlier pride is replaced with a slight mortification and self-consciousness instead. This is... embarrassing, holy shit. A blade's weapon is as much a part of themselves as their core crystal is, almost a representation of their fucking being, so as soon as Lloyd starts examining the weapon up close with it on his freaking lap Zelos lets out a meek, strangled noise that gets stuck at the back of his throat, words gone, and feels his face heat up at the sight. Oh god, Zelos, don't start blushing now, it literally glows in the dark!!

This is bad!!

Okay, Zelos kinda feels like should've expected something like this, perhaps. Like, Sheena didn't even know how to summon his sword, or how to hold it, and Lloyd's curiosity on the mechanisms and functions of a blade weapon is an obvious sign of someone totally unused to the inner workings of life as it is, but somehow it still completely slipped Zelos' mind. He's halfway through trying to find a way out of this mess when the bear trap slams closed on his head the second that Lloyd looks up, all grins and excitement and more praise, asking about seeing it in battle, and that leaves Zelos completely blanking out on how to respond at all.

Because, if he's honest, a pathetic little part of him wants to show off, if only to receive even more compliments, but first of all he needs to get his blade out of this kid's grasp, holy shit, what kinda fucking person puts a blade's weapon on their lap, and he's not even Lloyd's--

Movement, off to the side, catches his eye and brings him back out of that little spiral. Zelos looks up to it, spots Anna and Malos off in the distance, and draws in a sharp breath as an idea hits him like a branch in the middle of a walk in the woods. He clears his throat, grins shakily. Sets a hand on his hip, gestures with his free one. "Ah, that could be arranged, I think," he says as evenly as he can, trying to fucking calm down as he then calls his sword back into his hand, exhaling once he has its familiar weight back in his grasp. Then, before anyone can ask, he waves over at Anna with the blade, shouts, "Hey, you! You're a driver, right! Wanna spar?"

Please, Anna, save him.

[risingfalcon]

It's a universal constant that Zelos Wilder is way prettier than he has any right to be, Lloyd knows, but this Zelos has something that sets him even the slightest bit apart. He fucking glows. Not metaphorically, though Lloyd is sure that with enough time he could probably wax poetry on the way a genuine smile on any Zelos' face does wonders to make him look younger and like a bright ray of sunsetting light after a dreary afternoon. No, this Zelos literally glows, brilliant orange seeping into his face, spreading across his cheeks and over his nose and it's encapsulating, all-encompassing, and the sheer cuteness of the newfound development causes a blush to rise to Lloyd's own face, though it's probably hard to pinpoint at night. He's so cute. What the fuck, that's so cute!

Lloyd kinda wants to make him blush again, but. He's not going to go down that road again. One time with disastrous results was enough to convince Lloyd that he's not meant to have anything like that.

Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he stands as soon as the sword is back in Zelos' hand, slipping the pocketed glove back onto his right hand. He wonders what made Zelos blush in the first place - after all, all he had really been talking about for the past few minutes was the sword, not Zelos -

"He's right, though. Come on, that's a part of me! Hold it properly! Be gentle with me, honey!"

The blush intensifies, Lloyd's eyes widening in horrified realization as understanding settles into his gut as nicely as food poisoning. He - oh god, he's spent what, the better part of the last five minutes just complimenting and praising and openly admiring what is essentially a part of Zelos' being, and then he just - what the fuck! He put the sword on his lap!

A tiny, almost inaudible wheeze brushes up from the back of Lloyd's throat, the desire to not only run from authorities but from Zelos' gaze and his fucking blush working its way up Lloyd's spine. He was talking about the sword! Not Zelos! He didn't even really process what must have been an intimate action, just keeping the sword on his lap like that. Maybe he should go while Zelos is distracted! Maybe he should feign exhaustion or a sudden, life-threatening illness, or maybe he should turn and ask Sheena to flip him off the cliff overhang only about a mile back from their camp!

But a stupid, curious, and incredibly illogical part of Lloyd's mind, funnily enough, the part of his mind he usually listens to in times like these register the fact that Zelos definitely just challenged Anna to a spar, and. Well, he wasn't kidding when he said he wanted to see the Aegis' blade in action, and if Anna uses Malos' blade during the spar he'd get to compare and contrast. He can't just miss that!

Lloyd groans softly, uses the fact that Zelos' back is turned to put his face in his hands and die for a few seconds, and then smacks another grin back onto his face, because this will be so much easier to deal with later as long as Zelos doesn't know Lloyd's realized the extent of what he's done. The moment he gets awkward, Zelos gets awkward, and, well, Lloyd's not really looking for a part two of that morning, anyways.

[summonerd]

Sheena's content to let Lloyd nerd out over the sword, not quite making the jump from "the sword's part of Zelos" to "this just sounds like flirting." It's fine, it's fine. This whole thing feels right, in a way nothing has in who knows how long. She can just let it wash over her for a moment. The wave of mortification that hits her makes that hard, though. It doesn't even occur to her, spaced out as she'd been, that it's not her own, until she notices the little matter of Zelos literally glowing with embarrassment. Oh. Oh, no.

"Uh, Lloyd," she starts, feeling her face burn again, but thankfully Zelos takes control of the situation again before she has to figure out how to word it. At least she's not glowing. She turns towards where Zelos had gestured, grateful for the distraction.

[ilivedbitches]

Anna and Malos hung back just a little so Malos could be a smug piece of shit like always and Anna could apologize and they could hash out some ideas of when the fuck they were going to go looking for their Lloyd. They were already on the way to Sylvarant, but Iselia was still pretty far from Triet, and taking Zelos and maybe also Colette to Iselia was probably a horrid idea, so they'd have to see the Aegises to safety first, and if the world went to shit before then they'd just go get Lloyd anyway because if the world is already going to shit taking the Aegises to Iselia certainly wouldn't cause any extra harm.

That squared away, they start making their way back to camp, just in time for Zelos to call at them.

Anna gets out a dumbstruck "What. Me?" as if there's any other driver within a hundred foot radius of them. Then her ears catch up with her brain which then catches up with her mouth and she realizes what's really going on and she's honestly just short of dancing her way over to camp in her excitement.

"Oh hell yea," she calls, grinning dangerous and wide. Malos' fond exasperation beats against her chest. Suck it up, Dad!! She needs to get some energy out and honestly. Sparring versus the Aegis.

The Aegis, Dad!

She waits at least until she's a little closer to camp before she continues: "Who's sparring? Me- you?" She gestures between herself and Zelos. "You- Malos?" Gesture between the two of them, and then her eyes drift towards Sheena. "Me... you?" Zelos requested so Anna's not quite sure. Still. "I'm up for anything," she says, bouncing a little with her excitement.

[summonerd]

Sheena shakes her head when Anna's gaze drifts her way. "Nah, it's Zelos's idea," she says, before he can make any attempt to deflect. "He should go for it." Maybe if he gets some more practice in, he won't want her to use his sword so badly. She wouldn't mind that.

It might be good to try some kind of doubles sparring, if they're going to be linked like this, but-- that can wait.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFzLd8EK3sU

[presidentheartbeat]

Man, Anna's energy is actually a good distractor away from the mess that just happened, at least, and slowly Zelos feels his blush subside. Smirking and wanting out of this entire situation, he's this close to opening his big mouth and forcing Sheena to take the wheel, but then she slots him right into the spar herself, and--well, are eyes are on him, now. And he does have his sword out, which practically seals the deal, so...

Ugh, alright, whatever. Zelos sighs theatrically, playing the part like he can't believe this even if he's the one who requested the spar. He rolls his eyes, then looks back at Anna, at the expression that sets on her face, so hungry and ready for battle, and something in Zelos clicks.

Maybe this can work in his favour.

Because now that he has Anna right in front of him, now that he remembers she is a driver and her blade is standing back, when he thinks of their first meeting and her words, her ideals, her entire attitude towards the war effort and everything that's happened so far, Zelos... realizes where this could lead. Where he could lead this. Realizes that suddenly a burning, itching part of him wants this, actually, a little something that crystallizes in his chest and pushes him forward. He steps into the clearing, away from Lloyd and Sheena as he shifts his sword back into an active state, ether bursting forth. A silent invitation for Anna to follow.

And she will follow, he knows. This human is openly excitable and foolish, just like all the others that have set their sights on Tethe'alla's Aegis. So the gaze Zelos sets on Anna as he turns back to look at her is hardened and mischievous, something smug, slightly calculating, yet carefully slotted somewhere in the fine line between friendly and serious. Flippant, capricious. Like a proud lion ready to pounce.

He snorts. "C'mon, you wanna fight the Aegis, don't ya?" he asks through a laugh, tilting his head slightly. The sound of his ether rushing forth from his sword snuffs out the huff he releases. "I mean, yeah, I can take you on. But are you sure you can take me on?"

[ilivedbitches]

Anna just grins, sharp and delighted. Decides not to mention she knows Zelos is probably out of practice. (Hey, you know what, she and Malos probably are too.)

"Pretty sure I can!" she calls back at him.

She settles into a balanced stance, flicking her attention towards Malos for a sec to make sure he's ready. He steps out of the way, shaking his head like he's exasperated even though Anna can feel his delight just as well as her own. He's smirking, anyway, she knows he is.

He settles into position. Gives her the go ahead.

She reaches through their ether link and calls his sword. In a flash of purple light it materlizes into her left hand. Her right arm, useless as it is, she presses into her back so it's out of the way. She coils. Waits.

Figures the least Zelos deserves for being smug like that is to get knocked immediately off balance.

Anna lunges forward to strike.

[presidentheartbeat]

The moment that Anna materializes her blade's sword Zelos feels the temperature shift of Malos' ether in the ambient, and right away his calculating mind slots him as a darkness based blade. Okay, he can work with that. That's fine. Zelos lowers his stance, fully expecting Anna's eagerness and excitement to push her forth first, and feels a smug satisfaction coat his being when he guesses right.

Anna's speed is a surprise, however. Zelos knows right away that he's not going to get away with a sidestep, so instead he braces himself and locks blades with her immediately in a loud clash. He's still off-balance a little, though, but he digs his heels in as he's pushed back, desperately reaching for that pre-programmed something in his veins that he'd used to fight his way out of Meltokio Castle.

It'll take a while for his instincts to kick in properly, he knows. He laughs through grit teeth, the effort to try pushing back quite mighty to his out of practice bones. "Eager, are we?" he mutters. Then he feels himself finally gather his footing and shoves Anna away, following with a quick twirl-slash-twirl. "You having fun?"

[theactingdad]

Anna laughs like she is, and maybe she says as much, but, Architect, Malos is not having fun, actually!

Or, he was, up until about half a second ago.

Zelos' sword hits his and their ether clashes and--

The world spins, for a second. The strength of Zelos' ether is much much much more feeble than the last time Malos felt it, but, the taste, the way it clashes against his own ether--

Breathe. Breathe.

Take that panic and shove it somewhere Anna can't feel it. Keep biting it down as the swords connect, part, connect again.

"You good, Malos?" Anna calls.

"Yeah!" he lies.

It's dumb as shit. Zelos ain't gonna kill either of 'em. It's just a regular-ass spar and Zelos is outputting an incredibly-regular amount of ether that isn't bound to kill anyone anytime soon.

Anna is so excited, anyway. He can stick it out another minute or two.

[presidentheartbeat]

The satisfaction from before returns with a vengeance once again, though this time it's much, much angrier than before. Because the more that Zelos clashes his sword with Malos', the longer that Anna swings her blade's sword like it's nothing, the ambient ether around her ripples and stutters. Like it's sick. Like it's in pain. Unsurprising, given they're fighting the Aegis, but it still manages to piss Zelos off immensely. She calls back to her blade once, at least, but all it takes is a very obvious lie for her to turn back around and slash at Zelos again.

For her to ignore it. For her blade to simply take it like he's supposed to, or something.

For her to act like any other human.

But Zelos isn't a fucking idiot.

Attentive of Malos just as he is of his driver, Zelos feels a boiling anger slowly rising up his gut, burning, escaping his mouth in a tight, cruel laugh. Honestly, after a while, he's already stopped trying to clash swords and is now simply focused on dodging, words like knives sharpened in his throat that he releases in a shout. "Yeah, this is fun, right?" he sneers, twirling again, dodging, dodging, dodging. He growls low, hastily switches his sword into a passive state once again, devoid of ether as he parries the next blow and forces Anna into a lock.

The impact hurts like hell. Still, Zelos risks a glance at Malos, sees him wincing, and

something

snaps.

Before he can help himself, Zelos is screaming. "It's so fucking fun when you're not the one getting hurt, right?!" he shouts, pressing his passive blade right against Anna, trying hard to ignore the way Malos' ether burns him without the protection of his own. "You just gotta use your fucking blade to fight the Aegis, right? No problem with that! Easy to turn a blind eye when it doesn't hurt for you, right?!"

[ilivedbitches]

"Easy to turn a blind eye when it doesn't hurt for you, right?!" Zelos says, and--

mother fucKING SON OF A DICK

First and foremost, Anna jumps back out of Zelos' reach and drops Malos' sword, which dissipates immediately. No more of this bullshit.

"Malos!" she shouts, voice sharp, as she rounds on him. He flinches, deliberately avoiding her gaze.

He was keeping such a tight hold on the emotion bleed that Anna really had no luck of feeling Malos' panic. She should have noticed that she couldn't feel anything from him, really, so that's on her but. Anger snaps hot in her chest, heart dropping into her stomach. She wants to yell at Zelos, becuase that's not fair, that's not what she meant, but Malos' panic slips through his grip on the emotion bleed, then, and.

Oh, Architect. It's bad.

It's really, really bad.

She staggers a little under it as she marches towards him, zeroing in on this becuase he's hurting, he's hurting and he didn't tell her, she was hurting him and he didn't fucking say a word.

"Malos what the hell," Anna spits, furious. "Why didn't you say anything? We literally-- you know the drill!" Their entire family is a collection of people who have all been scarred by trauma in some way, so they have systems in place, agreements, safewords, I-can't-explain-but-trauma-just-got-real-bad-so-stop-everything code words. "Fucking shit I could have hurt you!!"

She's almost in his face now, seething with fury and pain and he still flinches away from her-- but it's guilt that coats their emotion bleed, and embarrasment, and-- that panic panic panic so thick they're going to choke.

"Didn't wanna spoil your fun," Malos mutters.

"I'M NOT EXACTLY NOT HAVING FUN IF YOU'RE HAVING A PANIC ATTACK!"

"It's stupid--" Malos begins, and then stops at a look from Anna. He huffs. Rolls his eyes. "I know, I know, trauma ain't stupid but like. It ain't his fault!"

"It-- What." Anna starts to go off about how that doesn't matter all that matters is Malos not putting himself in danger of the physical or emotional kind but his word's register and. Whose fault is it not? "What are you...?"

Malos turns his head away further, rubbing at his scarred arm. "It's just-- It's like I'm standing there waiting for my shield to fucking fail all over again. Like any minute now we're gonna fucking die. Like-- fuck." He presses his hands against his eyes. "It's-- It's not his fucking fault."

[presidentheartbeat]

The anger roaring in Zelos' core is a nasty, horrible thing that he wishes to turn outwards more than anything else he's wished for in his entire life. It's like a disgusting, misguided knife that points itself outwards, so much different from its usual position pointing inwards, a weapon created after years of abuse and misuse and sharpened by experience and hate. Hate, hate, hate. Hate overflowing, overpowering, watching Anna as she drops her blade's sword, watching her demanding answers from her terrified, hurting blade--

And then... Malos talks. Malos explains himself.

Malos says it wasn't his fault.

And it doesn't take a fucking genius to guess whose fault it is.

Ah, haha. Uh. Shit. The anger is snuffed out by cold terror instead as Zelos draws a sharp breath and doesn't let it go, staggering backwards one step before he stops himself, determined to hold his ground. He gathers the emotional bleed into his core before Sheena can get any stupid ideas, decides to suffer alone. Because this... isn't how he'd expected this to go. This isn't what he wanted at all. And there's still so much left in his system that he just wants to scream out, things he wants to blame on Anna, on everything she represents, but the way she treats her blade and the way Malos speaks to her are honestly, honestly making it very difficult to stay mad.

"It's not his fault," Malos said. Zelos feels something painful sliding down his throat, something that causes him to slowly, absently dismiss his sword in a flash of orange light. Not his fault. Not his fault.

Not his fucking fault? Bullshit. That's such bullshit. Everything about this is Zelos' fault.

If he hadn't been made--

Zelos releases that breath, realizing that his hatred is misplaced, that while Anna may be untrustworthy, she's still not the whole of the world. Zelos can't put his hatred on someone who listens to their blade and drops literally everything just to make sure they're okay. When the only reason the blade is even upset is because of his ether. The angry, twisted knife is turned back inwards instead, when he realizes what a big, stupid fuckup this all is, when it becomes apparent that he's lashed out for literally no reason at all. And that hurts worse than the ether burns from Malos' sword, he finds, because with all eyes on him and his own stuck on the scene before him Zelos is now forced to come face to face with what a stupid fucking destructive force he and his ether are.

He shouldn't have been made.

He shouldn't have been made.

He shouldn't have been made.

"Would you look at that," he says after a laugh, something low and slightly manic as he raises both hands in an 'oh well' gesture, eyes wide. He's doing everything he can to not stagger backwards again. "Y'see this shit? That's what Aegis ether does. You really sure you wanna use this to fight your goddamn war?"

He should never have been allowed to exist.

[ilivedbitches]

Malos definitely isn't doing hot, but that's-- probably something they're going to have to unpack a little later, especially because letting Zelos know he almost killed them last time he was in the cannon isn't exactly a smart move at literally any point in time, especially since... Zelos doesn't look like he's doing too hot right now either. Of course he isn't. No one is.

Anna takes a deep breath. Turns to look at Malos again, meet his eyes. She doesn't need words to ask him something as simple as is it okay if we handle this in a sec, and he nods somehwat-miserably at her. Sending him a soft smile she turns towards Zelos again.

(Malos grabs her by the hand before she can go far, which makes Anna's chest hitch with worry and also fondness. She doesn't protest, though, lets him grip her wrist. He probably needs it.)

"Who here said anything about using you to fight a war?" Anna calls to Zelos, confused but trying to be gentle. She realizes that-- fuck, maybe she implied it, at some point? She can't remember. Or maybe he's just (rightly) paranoid, considering...

What he is. How everyone else in his lifetime has treated him.

(Kratos, tense and sarcastic-- "Forgive me for not trusting so easily, it's not exactly like humanity's track record is perfectly clean.")

"Zelos..." Anna says. "All we want is to get you somewhere where the assholes out there who do want to use you can't anymore."

[presidentheartbeat]

All of that terror, shame, and self-loathing trapped in a loop in Zelos' core as he fights tooth and nail to keep the emotional bleed in check grows larger the more that Anna speaks. Yet her words are so obviously gentle, something that's meant to comfort and understand, so foreign and yet familiar, and that combined with all the attention set on his little outburst makes Zelos slowly recoil back into himself, shoulders tense, expression hardened into a glare that hides vulnerability and embarrassment. He... has no idea how he let the situation get out of control this fast, but the fact that it has slipped out of his hands fills him with dread and a desperate desire to go back, go back, forget what just happened, what he just did, because--

He's stepped out of line, again. Zelos pushed at buttons he shouldn't have, endangered a blade just to prove a point, and made his travel companions suspicious. Bared his true feelings out for a dangerous second. He's singlehandedly burst that easygoing bubble he'd literally just said he was enjoying having spread over them all, brought back the tense and awkward mood from yesterday.

All he ever knows how to do is destroy.

Fucking... damn it.

Damn it, damn it, damn it. Fighting back the surge of animalistic fear at the consequences of his actions to keep the self-important and angry mask on is nearly impossible, but keep it Zelos does, and slowly but surely he manages to unfurl from his lowered stance. Breathe in, out. It's fine, he can control this still, he can do some damage control. It doesn't seem like Anna would want to punish him for speaking out of line, at least, just that she wants some answers. He should give her some answers. It's the least he can do.

Unfortunately for him, honesty was never even his forte, nor was trust ever something he could give away easily. Besides, it's much easier to fall back upon familiar habits than it is to step forth into the light.

So he snorts. A quick, breathy sound of finality as he flips his hair back, as he plasters a smile on his face. "You know what? It's fine. Doesn't matter, really," he says, brushing it all off like it's nothing, vice-grip on the emotional bleed steady and strong as he lightens his voice into something friendlier and much more placating, steady and determined in a way to portray an air of 'I will not be convinced to do otherwise' within his words. "Anyway, neither of you look up for staying up all night guarding the camp, so I'll take first watch."

[risingfalcon]

At the start of the fight, Lloyd had been sitting down, legs crossed, leaning forward in anticipation to see the spar, to compare and analyze the blades and how they were used, how they resounded against each other, but then -

Zelos loses his composure. Starts screaming at Anna, and the delirious laughter, the uncontrollably furious sneer and the words, the words, the words, they echo in the forest clearing, as loud as the sound of Zelos' sword clashing against Malos' blade. The tone, the way the fury and hatred coat Zelos' voice, it drips into a storm, the fear, the anxiety it creates in Lloyd rushing up like a tsunami on a dark shoreline, threatening and succeeding in swallowing him whole. He's drowning, this world fading into his own, the forest clearing gaining blue totems and a misty shield, flashes of green branches protruding through the scene, gnarled and ancient. This Zelos' words fade into that Zelos' face, a painful shock running its way up Lloyd's spine as he reaches out, reaches out, he keeps reaching out -

but he's drowning. The waves bring him back under, and he swims up, tries so hard to break free, to breathe, but he can't, he's stuck, he's stuck, he needs help! Lloyd blinks his wide eyes, the world suddenly shifting back into the campsite, but its blurry, unfocused, because he's not actually here, he's still in the Tower of Salvation, clutching the broken and battered body of the man he killed in more ways than one, and the mouth on that man moves, and it tells him 'it's so fucking fun when you're not the one getting hurt, right?!'

Lloyd can feel himself choke on Zelos' trauma, can feel the way it wraps around him and shoves itself through his heart like a goddamn knife, scared and anguished, and Lloyd deserves it, god, he deserves it.

Anna yells, and Lloyd can feel the connection cut, can feel himself flying through dimensions until he's thrown back into his body with a panicked gasp, and he shoves himself to his feet, stumbling, slamming his hand to his chest in a desperate attempt to regain his breath. Where is he? He's here. Where's here? He doesn't know.

Sheena's here. Sheena's here. Take that knowledge and ground yourself. Count to ten, compose yourself, be strong. Lloyd takes a shuddering breath, forces the afterthoughts of the memories out of his mind and focuses on the scene in front of him. Sheena is sitting beside him, and she - Lloyd knows she's probably not doing much better than he is. So he leans down, grabs her hand, and squeezes it tight. A gesture of I'm here, I know. Malos and Anna, they're hugging, they're - they're talking lowly, by themselves, and. Zelos has his back turned, is walking away and a part of Lloyd wants to stop him, wants to talk to him and let him know that the fear that Lloyd saw in his face and heard in his voice, that they're valid, that he doesn't have to hide. Lloyd reaches out a hand, takes a step in that direction, and then the truth hits him like a Judgement spell. He has no right to do that. No right to pretend that he knows this Zelos, that he can help this Zelos when he couldn't help his own.

God, how did this go to shit so fast?

So he turns, controlling his breaths, eyebrows knitted together in concern as he looks back at Malos and Anna, at how tightly they hug each other. Does he really belong there? He's a reflection of the Lloyd they haven't had in their lives in five years, sure, but he just met them, really. That's a family hug. He's not sure he fits into that. But as he gets closer, sees the way Malos' clings tight to Anna, the way fear and left-over panic trace themselves into the sharp edges of his face, and worry wins out over concern for what they think of him. He walks over to them quietly, and once he's close enough, he kneels at Malos' left, gently placing a hand on Malos's shoulder and squeezing it.

"Are you..." Lloyd starts, pausing for a beat before changing his direction, shaking his head slightly. Malos isn't okay. Nobody is truly okay after these kinds of episodes. (The memories haven't left, only been walled off. Lloyd won't sleep tonight.)

"We're here," is what he settles with, knowing that the words do more to comfort him after these moments than simple questions of 'will you be okay?' "We're here, you're not - there's nothing here but us. You're here. Not there. Not where your mind wants to take you."

[theactingdad]

Malos feels-- bad, he really does. It occurs to him that he definitely should have put a stop to this immediately instead of letting it play out, considering now he's just-shy of having a panic attack and Zelos is clearly upset, not to mention Sheena and Lloyd had to watch all that. Son of a dick. He's an idiot.

Still though. Nothing he can do about Zelos at the moment. (He wants to apologize, wants to explain, but he can really only explain so much of what that was without telling Zelos the whole truth, and he's not sure if he has a good enough lie in him.) All there is to do is to take care of himself.

He's already sunk onto the ground with Anna, pulling her into the tightest hug possible. Just holding her (She's alive. He's alive. They're alive.) is doing wonders, at least.

"Why the fuck's Jin all the way in Hima," Malos whines. The definitely irrational fear that everyone did die on him while he wasn't looking sits in his core crystal whether he likes it or not. Holding Anna definitely, definitely helps, but like...

"He and Lora were bored out of their minds, is why," Anna tells him, laughing. "I'd suggest we go see 'em, but Hima's way too far out of our way." She sits up a little straighter, a quick note of anger spiking . "Oh fuck, you remembered to leave 'em a note, right?"

"I did."

"Oh thank fuck. Jin would have frozen half the continent with his worry."

"And Lora would have promptly torn apart the other half."

They laugh, a little. Hold each other. It's fine. It's a little better.

Lloyd comes over not long later. Malos sends a grateful look up at him, touched immensely by his concern and-- aw fuck. What the hell? His grandson's such a good kid. Malos hopes he can raise his own Lloyd to be even half this sweet.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Malos tells Lloyd, smiling up at him as well as he can muster. He is feeling pretty okay, at least. Could be better. "I'm here. We're here. No one's dead-- well." He sighs. Not everyone made it out that night, of course. But no one here is dead, at least. Anna squeezes him a little tighter.

Malos pushes the thought out of his mind and looks up at Lloyd. Lloyd's... Architect, he doesn't look like he's doing too hot, either. Before Malos can convince himself it's a bad idea, he shifts, yanks Lloyd towards him and and wraps him in as crushing of a hug he can manage while his other arm's around Anna.

"Hey, you're here too," he whispers.

[risingfalcon]

Lloyd smiles softly at Malos, but the expression soon morphs into surprise as he yelps at Malos' tug, immediately falling into his grandpa's grip because Malos is really fucking strong and just that yank was enough to knock Lloyd off balance. He lands a little uncomfortably on his side, very glad that his sword belts have been off for the past hour or so, but... the hug helps further ground Lloyd, actually, makes it a little easier to drop his hyperfocus while not having to sacrifice focusing at all. And it - it feels nice, too. Malos is kinda crushing him, but it's a good kinda crush, like being held by a giant, sentient teddy bear. Similar to the time that Genis, Colette, and Sheena all tackled him down, but a little more merciful to his spine.

Okay, the description is getting away from him. Lloyd lets his head rest on Malos' shoulder for a few moments, enjoying the hug, and then looks up at Malos when he hears the whisper. The fact that his mask must be transparent if Malos just knows something is wrong messes with Lloyd a little bit, because if the man he just met can tell something is wrong, everybody else probably can, and Lloyd doesn't wanna worry them, not after what happened in the minutes previous.

But the words soothe Lloyd's anxieties down, act like a verbal band-aid on a particularly bad scrape, so he swallows down the thoughts and lets the words soak in. And he leans a little more into Malos' hug, tries to return it best he can by wrapping an arm around his grandpa and squeezing.

"Thank you," Lloyd replies, and he means it.

[theactingdad]

Malos leans over and kisses Lloyd's head before he really thinks about that gesture either, squeezing Lloyd briefly in return. Anna reaches over and squeezes Lloyd's wrist.

"Thank you," Malos insists. "For checking on me. I feel better. I really do."

The two family members actually traveling with him right now (Lloyd counts, he does!) are accounted for and next to him and very very alive. He didn't fuck anything up. They survived.

They survived.

He's alright.

[summonerd]

Ahahaha, everything went to shit so quickly.

She'd settled on the ground next to Lloyd to watch the fight, curious to see both how Anna fought and how Zelos handled himself since she'd hardly been able to focus on him during the escape, but, well. Malos falters, and Zelos snaps, and his anger rushes into her like a lava flow, unstoppable and completely overwhelming. For a second she forgets how to breathe in the face of it. Lloyd's hand finds hers, though, and she squeezes back tight, pulling herself back. It's enough to get her through until Zelos slams the door shut on their connection, letting the tension ebb. Her grip relaxes, one much gentler squeeze of gratitude before she lets go so he can get to his feet. She doesn't follow, not wanting to intrude on the family group hug, but she stands and dusts herself off as he goes, heading after Zelos. It's not hard to tell, with the way he's been talking about himself and what she'd seen in the castle, that it had been personal for him, and worry and some anger of her own on his behalf builds in her.

"Hey," she says as she catches up to him, awkward, unsure of how to start, but - she can't not, right? It's not like she actually expects a Zelos who's only known her for a day or two to open up to her, but they have to start somewhere. "Are you--" No, of course he's not alright. Come on, Sheena. She takes a deep breath, starts over: "You wanna talk about any of that?"

[presidentheartbeat]

Walk away, walk away. Slowly make your way over to their camp, where everything else lies gathered, and inhale, exhale. Calm down. Hum a little, keep your voice steady to make it seem like it's natural, walk about looking for something to do. Make yourself useful. Make yourself useful. Spot the fire, unlit and half-assed, and set yourself to the mind-numbing task of fixing it up and lighting it if only to escape everything that just went down.

Don't think about everything you just did. Don't think about how you ruined everything, just focus on fixing something else instead.

Better to be useful than a menace, right?

Ah.

Intent on ignoring literally everything around him but himself, Zelos reaches the gathered wood for their fire tonight, kneeling down in front of it and examining it, humming still and keeping his face as cheerful and unbothered as he can. It's a show, it's a dance. It's falling apart, but--but that's fine. It's fine. He can pick up the pieces and try to keep it afloat. The Aegis' back is to the commotion, dead-set on ignoring the fallout of his meltdown if only to make it go away faster. Because maybe if he doesn't pay attention to it then it can't come catching up to him at all. The last thing he wants is for this to escalate and blow up in his face any further, so Zelos keeps the whirlwind of emotions trapped in his core, hands shaking, all that shame and rage and dread singing a cacophonous song of fate in his veins for him and him alone. He breathes it in, rearranges the wood. Breathe in, breathe out. Fix up the wood.

Fix it, fix it, fix it.

"Hey."

He blinks.

Sheena's voice is an unwelcome addition to the situation. His smile falls for a second at the sound, but Zelos at least manages to catch himself before he lets go of the emotional bleed in his surprise, before he truly reacts, and quickly so he plasters that smile on his face again like nothing's happened. Then Zelos twists to look at her over his shoulder, all smiles and friendliness, definitely a stark contrast against the last she's seen from him. He's not stupid, he knows that she's going to be suspicious, but. Still, he keeps up the charade, rising to his full height after she stupidly asks him how he's doing, if he wants to talk.

No, Sheena, he doesn't want to talk. He wants to put this behind as fast as possible, in fact. Wants to pretend it never happened. Wants to pretend he's not a fucking menace to the world.

But he can't say that, he knows. He can't lash out again.

So he laughs instead.

"Talk about what?" he plays dumb, tilting his head. He blinks innocent eyes at his driver, hands on his hips for a second before he grins, decidedly not giving her any time to react when he immediately speaks again, saying, "Hey, you wanna see something cool?" while removing his right hand from its spot on his hip, channeling ether into his palm and linking it to the ambient ether around the wood. Palm up, he raises his hand slowly, heating up the air around the wood until a flame flickers to life on it, growing, growing, growing. Once it's lit Zelos laughs again, snaps his fingers and lets go of the ether in his hands. The flames crackle with the snap of the connection, a strong and powerful release, before settling back down.

Look at his handiwork, he thinks. Look at what he can create, instead of what he can destroy. Sparing one look at the fire Zelos puffs out his chest, smirks, and gestures to it with his free hand.

"Ta-dah!" he goes.

Pride is easy to fake.