summonerd | i just wanna know: who broke it?

Malos hesitates, mind hastily sorting through his options until he lands on the best one. He can hear the tremor in Zelos' voice, knows what all kinds of people look like after nightmares, from Anna to Patroka. It doesn't take much to guess Zelos probably isn't the person who'd want to talk about nightmares, after they're over.

(At least, probably not with Malos, who he barely knows.)

Malos can work with that, though.

"Yeah, that happens," he jokes, because he's pretty sure Zelos would rather he pretend he didn't catch Zelos vulnerable at all. (Patroka's like that, too, and so is Akhos half the time.) He darts a glance towards the window, catches a glimpse of faint warm light through the window. Perfect. He definitely needed a change of subject.

"Hey, you woke up just in time, though," he says, sending Zelos a grin as he makes his way over to the window. He checks, first, through the curtain gap-- no solicitors. He can't feel any unusual disturbances in the ether, either.

The sun's only just started peeking up over the buildings. Their view from the slums probably ain't the best view, but the clouds this morning mean the sky's painted gorgeous colors, pink clouds against the pale blue of morning.

Zelos has... probably seen a sunrise before, but who knows, right? So Malos nods for Zelos to join him.

"It's always nice being awake to see the sunrise," Malos says. "Come check it out."

Edited 2019-03-23 21:44 (UTC)

[A noncommittal grunt and a dry huff are all Malos gets as replies while Zelos gathers himself back up behind his blank mask. He watches, carefully and tense, as Malos walks over to the window and peeks out of it, some of the sunlight outside is already peeking through, which means at least Sheena got some sleep. Good. He doesn't want his driver exhausted for tomorrow.

Zelos wills himself to stop shaking. This is... weird. At least Malos isn't asking about his dreams, nor is he making it a big deal about the state he'd found Zelos in, which means the shame he's feeling is easy to discard and dismiss after a few deep breaths. With time the blank mask gains a few strings of words he can use to defend himself with. And then Malos speaks, and Zelos actually scoffs.]

"You really gonna risk that?" [he asks. It's a little easier to keep a conversation rolling when Zelos can be a smartass over literally anything else. He pulls his right leg close to his chest and rests his arm over his knee, gesturing vaguely with it while leaning back a little on his other hand, regarding Malos with a smirk.] "Ya can't seriously be thinking it's safe out there right now."

Malos just sends him a look, somewhat exasperated, though it's really not that hard to find patience for this brand of bullshit from Zelos.

"Safe enough for you to take a look out the window, if you want," Malos promises. "It's fuckin' gorgeous this morning."

He leaves it at that. Zelos can choose not to if he wants. He's free to make all the choices he wants now.

[Wow, okay, actually getting shut down like that? Kinda pretty annoying. Zelos pouts a little at Malos for a second, then rolls his eyes like he can't believe this, shrugging and pushing himself out of the couch.]

"I've seen plenty of sunrises," [he says, lazily stretching his arms over his head like a cat. He takes care to keep himself nonchalant and casual as he controls his trembling legs and slowly makes his way over. He raises an eyebrow and peers out the window, hands on his hips, torso lowered dramatically.] "What makes this one so special, huh?"

"I mean, it's gorgeous as hell, for starters," Malos says.

And then, he risks a glance at Zelos, wondering if he should, but-- man, the Irvings aren't really known for their incredible caution. So:

"Plus, it's the first sunrise since you were set free," Malos says, fixing his eyes out the window again. "That makes it pretty special, if you ask me."

[He's not tense, not per se, but Zelos is also not completely sure of what to do with himself now. Malos' words ring heavy in his ears, the 'set free' bit louder than anything else. Is this really freedom? There isn't a lot in this situation that he can directly control, and he's not sure of everyone else's true motives, but...

But this isn't the castle. This isn't the cannon.

Zelos straightens up and crosses his arms, thoughts suddenly vanishing in the air. He just stares through the window glass at the colours in the sky and wonders, for a moment, if during this journey to Mithos' location he'll finally get a chance to see a sunset or a sunrise from somewhere other than behind a window, from behind a cage's bars. He doesn't know. He can't really predict what's to come, but.

For now he guesses he'll just take this, and simply hums.]

Lloyd absolutely falls off the bed when Sheena screams.

He catches himself before his face hits the floor, thankfully, but he doesn't even have the mental capacity to think about where he's at before he's standing, reaching for his swords as a paranoid reflex, scanning the room for any -

wait. Sheena!

Lloyd glances back at the bed, heart pounding, and sighs deeply when he sees she's safe, she's - well, she must have had a hell of a nightmare, but they all have. She's okay. He puts his swords up against the wall again and gently climbs back onto the bed, making sure to make enough noise as to not jolt her, and sits by her side at it's edge.

"Sheena," Lloyd starts, forcing his voice to stay calm, soft, and patient, although Colette's always been the one that was the best at comforting. Careful not to be too hasty, he wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her into a weak hug she could easily brush off if she decides to. "You're here. I'm here. We're here."

He gives it a few moments of silence, a few beats for them both to relax after their sudden awakenings, and then breathes out, counting to three and then back. "Are you alright? Anything you want to talk about?"

She doesn't lash out, this time, but she doesn't react to his hug either, just letting Lloyd pull her in without moving herself. After a moment she uncurls enough to twist and lean in, resting her forehead against his shoulder as her breathing starts to even out. She's still trembling, but it's less pronounced now, his presence grounding.

"...Sorry," she says, after a long moment. "I just--" She takes a slow breath, lifts her head from his shoulder so she can look down at her hands in her lap. "Guess I should've expected that, with how much happened today." She lets out a shuddery laugh as she forms a fist, loosely, then relaxes it. She's here, and Lloyd's here, and she's not--

--getting back in the cannon--

--letting anyone else die because of her own incompetence. (Where had that come from?) She straightens up the rest of the way, slowly, looking over to him. His face is hard to make out in the low light, but his bedhead looks as ridiculous as it always does. It's a shame her head's still too much of a mess for her to enjoy it. Still, she smiles, says, "I'll be okay, I think. Did I wake you?" After everything, she'd fallen asleep too fast to see if he'd needed her to make good on that promise.

"I'm fine," Lloyd answers immediately with a reassuring smile. He's not lying - even a handful of hours of sleep did wonders for his mental clarity, and, well, it's not like really needs to sleep anymore, anyways. He rubs at her shoulder absentmindedly, paying attention to how her pulse slowly normalizes itself.

"How about you?" He asks, after a few more moments of silence, concern still etched into his face, voice still quiet. "Do you think you want to try and sleep again?" Lloyd spares a glance to the windows, where he can see dawn's rising light peeking in through the thick curtains, dark enough for more sleep but signaling the start of the day. Maybe Sheena could sneak in a few more hours before they hit the road, but he's been in her position often enough to know she's probably going to forgo sleeping more, and he can't blame her.

"Maybe I better not," she says, sheepish. "Might be tempting fate too much, after a dream like that." The worst dreams don't tend to strike twice in the same night, but... with the way that one had felt, she's not sure it's worth risking it. Easier to just go without sleep than shake off two nightmares like that. Sheena reaches out with one arm to squeeze him in a quick hug, grateful, then pulls away, reaching for her hair ribbon on the nightstand.

"I napped a little while we were waiting for the sun to set, anyway. It'll be fine." She finger-combs her hair loosely, pulling it back into order as best she can before she ties it back. That's better, at least.

Lloyd nods understandingly at her response, deciding to get ready to face the day too. Standing with a stretch, he walks over to wear his jacket had landed in his exhaustion last night and shrugs it on, buckling his belts into place and sliding his suspenders onto his shoulders. With the rest Lloyd got, he feels more alert and aware of himself than he had for the past few weeks, so concerned about Sheena's safety and trying his best with Genis to comfort Colette that he had forgone rest.

Knowing that Sheena is safe has done a lot to make him feel better, but now that he's woken up in this world the truth settles in and it makes him uneasy - he has no idea how they'll get back to their own home. And even worse, there is a part of him that thinks of Anna and Malos and this Zelos, as much of a stranger as he is, and.

That part of Lloyd wonders if going home is his primary desire anymore.

He shakes his head. He's being dramatic. He wouldn't leave any of his friends behind for the world.

(A world where he has a family he doesn't have to fight to keep - it sounds like a dream.)

Ignoring his own think track, he shoves on his gloves and boots, willing himself to look stronger than he feels. At least now he feels at least a fraction of a percent more ready to face Zelos, though his heart constricts in his chest at the thought of introducing himself to a doppelganger of one of the people he failed, a doppelganger of the man he loves. But it's fine. It's fine, he'll be fine.

He wills a smile back onto his face, walking across the room and opening the curtains the slightest bit, allowing the light of dawn to hit him in the face. The warmth of it relaxes him the slightest bit, so he turns back around and claps his hands together. "Ready to take on an alternate universe?"

Sheena fishes around on the floor for her obi before she stands, too, wrapping it around her waist to start tying it. She's done this thousands of times, could do it in her sleep if she had to, but it's still involved enough to help pull her thoughts back into focus. There's no point in spending all day dwelling on her dream - she'd met a version of one of her oldest friends, who hadn't remembered her, and then she'd spent the day on high alert to keep him safe. Of course Zelos had gotten mixed into her oldest nightmare, after all that. That's all there is to it.

And speaking of Zelos... maybe the fact that they're awake so early is better, actually. She'd like to have an actual conversation with him that isn't interrupted by murder or eavesdroppers, and Lloyd could probably use the time to get used to this whole mess of a situation. This world's already thrown so much at him in the day he's been here. She pushes the finished bow of the obi around until it's at her back as it should be, then reaches for her boots.

"It'll never know what hit it," she says, with a grin. Possibly it may already not know what hit it, after yesterday. "Oh-- actually, I meant to ask. Did Origin say anything about how to get back?" She'd never really had a more detailed plan than hoping she'd know what to do with the Aegis, but that hadn't happened, and if Zelos has any ideas he hasn't shared them, at least.

Lloyd winces, rubbing the back of his neck because he most definitely does not really have a crystal clear way of getting them home. In his defense, hearing Origin say that this was about his only chance to find Sheena really changes the way one might plan out a rescue mission.

"Sorta?" He gives her instead, sheepishness claiming his tone as he rests his hands on the grips of his swords, suddenly wishing he had his Material Blades on him rather than Gagnrad, but, whatever. "Origin has little to no power that reaches over here, I think. He told me to find the reflection of himself that could lead us home."

Whichhhhh is a lot less specific now that he thinks about it. Given the existence of blades and an entirely new system of mana - ether? - Lloyd wouldn't bet on summon spirits being a part of this universe. He bites at his lip, lost in thought. As much as it sucks to think about, Sheena and he might be here for longer than they originally thought, especially if they're going to help Zelos out with whatever it is Sheena broke him out of.

"Maybe the Origin over here conveniently has an interdimensional portal? Or just two really strong Rhieards?"

Lloyd Irving, think through a plan completely before kicking it off? Absolutely not. Sheena can't help but laugh at his expression, fond.

"Actually..." She pauses, both feeling at the edges of her connection with Zelos to make sure the comparison's right and not really wanting to be the one to bring his name up to Lloyd. "Zelos does kind of feel like Origin." Which is a hell of a sentence, now that she's said it, and her face is very clear that she doesn't know what to make of it. "That's how I wound up finding him, but I didn't expect him to be..." Well, him. Has Sheena mentioned lately that she hates this world a little? She scowls, taps her boot against the floor to drive her foot into it properly as she thinks. "But he can't be Origin, right? That wouldn't make any sense."

Lloyd would like to note that he took the introduction of Zelos' name into the conversation quite well, thank you, mostly hiding the way his heart sinks deep into his chest cavity. His smile wobbles but stays on, for the most part, and he manages to keep eye contact. He's getting better at this whole ignore how you're feeling thing, finally.

"I - uh, still don't really know anything about this world," Lloyd says, shifting his weight onto his right leg and crossing his arms in thought, "but Malos told me about something before you guys got here. Zelos has a core crystal, right?" He didn't see it if Zelos does have one, but if Sheena has to personally bust him out of the Tethe'allan government's hands, maybe it's not a far cry to assume he's a blade here.

(The idea of Zelos being used against his will as a weapon sickens Lloyd.)

"Core crystals don't... seem too far from exspheres or cruxis crystals. Do you think maybe they could be connected back to this world's Origin?"

Edited (forgot to capitalize god's name, F) 2019-03-26 22:28 (UTC)

Unfortunately for Lloyd, Sheena's spent enough time with him to catch his reaction, and she shoots him an apologetic smile. She's not that far ahead of him on dealing with this, really - she gets it.

"Yeah, he does," she says, thoughtful. "His power felt pretty different from what an exsphere does, but... the concept's so similar. I dunno. They could be." She sighs, lifts her arms over her head to stretch. "But why would Origin be connected to blades?"

"I dunno," Lloyd replies with a small shrug. "Maybe he helped create them? Or helps keep them powered or something? I'm drawing a blank."

He blinks, lifting his arm so he can support his head on the palm of his hand, shooting Sheena a glance, "where are we planning on going from here, anyway? Maybe if we can start keeping an eye out for Origin while we travel!"

That sounds like a good idea! Origin wasn't easy to pinpoint the first time, but it's not like they can't do it again, right? And hey, maybe they can even get him to help Zelos while they're at it. Someone with the power of a god isn't necessarily someone to be sneezed at.

"Guess we'll find out when we find him," says Sheena, matching Lloyd's shrug. Then he asks about their plans, and last night comes back to her.

"Actually..." she says, hesitating. She probably should've mentioned this before now, but better now than to let Lloyd be blindsided by it later. "Last night, Zelos said he wanted to... go to Mithos." Wow, that sounds so much worse than Sheena'd expected it to, and she winces, quickly continuing, "Apparently, he's an Aegis here, too? I've been here almost a month and it doesn't seem like there's anything like Cruxis, so... maybe this Mithos is different. Malos thought it sounded like a good idea."

Zelos said he wanted to... go to Mithos.

Haha, right? Please be joking, Sheena, please laugh. Panic bubbles up from deep in his chest, coming out as a rough laugh that lands itself somewhere between horrified and disbelieving because his life wouldn't be this cruel to him, right? Making him introduce himself to an alternate version of the dead love of his life, only to make Lloyd suffer again in the same way? Making Lloyd face down his dead uncle, the one he killed? This is a different universe, surely whatever is out there that enjoyed watching his life go to shit in the span of a few days doesn't exist here, so this can't be it, right?

"I - I see," Lloyd manages to work out, nausea tickling at his throat, and he swallows down the sudden, dizzying urge to be sick. He knows what Sheena meant, knows that this Mithos is not his own, this Zelos is not what once his own. Knows that things are different, and the picture in the illusion may not be as close as it seems. But the words Zelos said he wanted to go to Mithos keep bouncing around his head, keep pounding at the weak armor he wears around his heart, a heart broken mercilessly and so often that it barely beats with half the strength it used to. He averts his eyes, turns around, busies himself with staring out the window again because it's easier to do that than to face Sheena and call himself a coward.

"Sounds like a good plan," he lies through his teeth, rubbing at the glove on his left hand. "If Malos thought it was a good idea and Zelos wants it, we might as well."

He swallows hard. Pushes down the panic. Forces a blank enough face, not having the will to force a smile anymore. And then he closes the window curtains, having had enough of the sunny morning already.

Zelos said he wanted to... go to Mithos.

Even with her backpedaling, it's immediately apparent that yeah, she fucked up, and her face drops as soon as Lloyd laughs.

"Sorry," she says, helplessly, hands up in a gesture of supplication, and then, "sorry. I shouldn't have said it like that." Honestly she would've rather not said it at all, but it's not like she could lie to Lloyd of all people. "I don't feel great about this, either. But hey," she says, soft, stepping forward to place a hand on his shoulder gently. "We're not gonna let him--" Hm, nope, try again. She starts over, "We're not going to let anything happen to him. Right?" One way or another, she is going to keep this Zelos safe. She continues, rueful, "Besides, with this weird link between us, I'll know if..." She can't finish that sentence, just letting out a deeply uncomfortable laugh. It's way too early in the morning to be discussing the logistics of preventing Zelos's potential future suicide, even if it's only obliquely. "A-anyway. I'm sure it'll be okay."

Probably! Maybe. This is such a fucking mess. Sheena just drags her hands down her face, with a low, muffled noise that could have been fuuuuuck.

Edited 2019-03-27 03:51 (UTC)

"It'll be okay," Lloyd repeats for both of them, though he's not sure either of them really believes it. Guilt eats away at the panic that belies his mind, giving him a disgusting mixture of the two that only work to make him that much antsier. But he works on keeping it down, ignores the way his hands tremble as he rests his hands on the sword grips again, shooting Sheena a wobbly smile she probably can't see, wishing he was strong enough to actually reassure her like she's trying to desperately to reassure him.

"I uh - I trust their judgment," he says, and, well, he's learned his lesson about not trusting Zelos' decisions, so he swallows down the bitter taste of regret and unease and continues. "This world is different from ours, r-right? Who's to say this Mithos is any worse than ours was?"

Who's to say this Mithos is any better, Lloyd thinks, but keeps that locked tightly in his mind. The fear is going to last, going to burn into his brain until he sees for himself that this Mithos won't - won't -

That Lloyd won't have to do something he regrets again.

"Right," she says, after a moment. "I mean, so far as we know this world's still in one piece. If he hasn't done that..." Is it because he isn't as bad, or because he can't, and bringing Zelos to him will give him the power needed to fuck it up? Sheena doesn't know, and thinking about it is making her more anxious with no outlet for it. She shakes her head, uncertain. "For now, let's just worry about getting out of here, okay? I did kind of set the whole city off trying to find us." She says it with half a self-deprecating laugh, but there's no shame in her posture, at least. Hopefully Zelos's trick with the fire left a lasting enough impression that no one in Meltokio will forget it anytime soon. It's what they deserve for letting him be locked up like that. "We'll cross the other bridges when we come to them."

Thinking about that isn't really any better than thinking about Mithos, though, and she glances down, wrapping one arm around her middle loosely. "... Is it bad that I kind of want him to come back with us?" she admits, voice quiet. "I don't know. I know he isn't the same person, but..." His face from the nightmare comes back to her, unprompted, combined with what she'd seen yesterday when he'd told her to touch his core crystal, and she tightens her hold on herself. She can't leave him to face that again, no matter what.

At Sheena's soft question, Lloyd steps forward, wrapping his arms around her in another hug. "I don't think I'm in any position to judge," he mumbles into her hair, quiet and defeated, the earlier sickness fading away to be a not-so-dull throb of pain, vertigo lessening into a general desire to not live in the waking world as is. "I feel the same way. It feels like..."

He trails off, sighing, shutting his eyes tightly closed. "It feels bad," Lloyd finishes, a sad chuckle following him. He's never been a wordsmith, even less so when emotionally distressed, but. He's trying.

"We miss him," Lloyd states, ignoring the way his necklace presses cold against his chest, ignoring the way the shadows, the thoughts he tries to avoid swim to the surface of his mind, attempting to swing their tendrils of forcibly repressed memories into the forefront of his thinking track. "But we'll make it through this, yeah? The both of us. We'll be okay. We'll save this Zelos and we'll - we'll figure some shit out. We always do."

She hugs him back, one-armed and gentle. "Yeah, that about sums it up," she says, soft. "It feels awful, but... we've made it through worse." She just has to keep believing that until it feels as true as it actually is. The hug helps, the anxiety dying down into something more manageable, but leaving in its wake a wave of annoyance that Sheena's immediately certain can't be her own. Oops.

"I think he's still awake, actually," she says, reaches up with the hand that had been wrapped around herself to rub at the center of her collarbone where the annoyance settles faint and sour. "Do you feel up to meeting him?" Her tone's cautious, but moping's never suited either of them.

Lloyd pulls his head back, a nervous chuckle finding its way out of his mouth because he will never feel up to meeting this Zelos, but. Lloyd has a feeling this Zelos has gone through his own troubles, and to keep distance because of Lloyd's own issues instead of helping would be -

It would be the type of thing people used to do to their Zelos. So Lloyd's going to try. He's going to introduce himself, and if nothing else, he will be an acquaintance this Zelos can maybe one day trust to help protect him best Lloyd can. Lloyd nods, slowly, more than a little hesitantly, but it's definitely a nod.

"Ready as I'll ever be," he says, smiling a closed-mouthed smile, "ready as I can be."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

HE DEADASS DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject